Full Transcript

Sari 0:00
Welcome to your Food Business Success. This podcast is for early stage entrepreneurs in the packaged food industry ready to finally turn that delicious idea into reality. I'm your host Sari Kimbell. I have guided hundreds of food brand founders to success as an industry expert and business coach and it's gotta be fun. In this podcast, I share with you mindset tools to become a true entrepreneur and run your business like a boss, interviews with industry experts to help you understand the business you are actually in, and food founder journeys so you can learn what worked and didn't work, and not feel so alone in your own journey. Now, let's jump in.

Sari 0:50
Welcome back to the podcast. I have a really amazing guests with me today, Judith Gaton. She is a great friend and amazing coach. And you might be thinking, when you start hearing us talk like what is this topic have to do with building and creating my package food business. And I want to offer you that increasing your self image to becoming the person that you need to be to go out and do the hard things as a boss, as a salesperson, as a social media, whatever it is, that these topics that we talked about are some of the underground strategies, things that we don't normally think about of how we actually build confidence, and go out and do hard things. Unfortunately, my microphone decided to completely crap out on me this day, so I apologize for my sound quality, but Judith sounds amazing. I want Judith to show up in all of her amazingness and so I do want to let you know that there are a couple of cuss words later on in the podcast. Her book just to give you a little insight on what you're in for her books called How To Be An Effing Lady. It's on Amazon. And so you guys are in for a real treat. She is so funny and so witty. But just want you to be prepared in case you have kids around. This might be better to listen to on your air pods or headphones. All right, let's get to the interview.

Sari 2:34
I'm so excited to welcome one of my dear friends, Judith Gaton. And Judith, I'm gonna let her introduce herself. She is fabulous. But we're here to talk about style and entrepreneurship and self image. I'm so excited. So welcome Judith and I'll let you introduce yourself.

Judith 2:56
I'm Judith Gaton. I am a Master Certified Life Coach, and a personal stylist, and I help high achieving women to figure out their careers or professional life, what they do for work. But they haven't figured out your closets yet. So that's the humans I help.

Sari 3:13
I love it. I know. Some people might be like, this is about starting a food business. Why on earth are we talking to be amazing, fabulous, Miss J, Judith? So just tell me a little bit about how you think the two intersect? Can we talk about entrepreneurship?

Judith 3:33
Yeah, and I think like anybody who raised eyebrows at this, I was like, I guess I'll listen, if it's awful. I'll turn it off in one minute. Hopefully, we made it past like the one minute rule for you. These are really intertwined. And I think this is kind of, we have to set a foundation for why we're talking about this. Style really is an outward reflection of how you think and feel about yourself. So as an entrepreneur, as the face of your business, and a lot of you are small businesses, you're just starting your food business, you really are the face of your business, whether it's at the farmers market, whether it's at that Instagram Live where you're showing them behind the scenes, maybe you're doing TikToks. And it's you, and your spouse, and your kids, and you know, you're trying to like really create engagement for yourself, you are the face. But it's really hard to be the face of something when you don't like your face. You don't like how you show up in the world. And you look kind of lil ragamuffin behind the scenes. It's really hard to want to put yourself out there to market this amazing product that you've created that everybody should know about if you literally aren't comfortable showing up. And that's why it's so important to talk about how this all intertwines, styles can of the way you show up to do things. And if your style, your thoughts and feelings about yourself are off, you're not going to want to show up to do these things, which means you're not going to market yourself. You're not going to build that like no one trust with your audience or community, your potential buyers when you're hiding. It's so important to chat about these things. And I'm so glad she brought me on today!

Sari 5:10
I know this is your jam. And it's just something that I've noticed, like, there's. Not everybody I work with but I think a lot of people have never started a business before they've never had to put themselves out there. And so there is this confidence gap, I would say, where they know they need to do social media, they know they need to go approach a buyer, put themselves out there. But there's that gap. And so I feel like, from what I've learned from you, and my own journey, is style that outward piece can really help fill in that confidence or help build it up.

Judith 5:51
Yeah, I mean, there's a reason why superheroes have capes, right? Not all the superheroes who have capes actually fly, right? No, it's like a confidence factor, like Batman can't actually fly. But dude has the best accessories on the planet. He has like the most fabulous cape, notice his cape is longer than everyone else. It's like, got layers and they can fold themself in it like, that dude's got a whole vibe. And literally, that little bit of clothing is really about a persona that he takes on, he becomes the Batman, right? So for a lot of us, we have to find our version of the Batman cloak that will help us become the person who shows up for lives, shows up for the farmer's market, you know, mingles at the farmers market, shakes the hands of all the humans, meets, you know, the person who's in charge of it to make sure they get an other gigs or, you know, the good table near the blah, blah, blah, right? Like all of these things matter. And we sometimes need a little courage from the way we dress to go become the person who, you know, creates a successful business, you know, gets to market, has those meetings that are so necessary to get to market like, all those things, play into those things. So for you all dear listener, whoever you are, like, I want you to really think about this, like as we're chatting. And as we teach a little bit more today, I want you to think about what is your version of a Batman cape. Now, I'll tell you, for me, it was this bracelet that I had to brave. It's like really pink and very sparkly. And I'm actually not a very sparkly kind of, I don't wear rhinestones normally, but there was something about this bracelet when I first got it. And it became this thing like the bracelet band broke several times, they replaced it. I mean, says cheap rhinestone jewelry. This is not fancy jewelry. For me, that was like my proverbial Batman cloak, right? So for some of you, it's gonna be like, maybe rock a hoodie? Well find the best damn hoodie, we can find yo. For some of you, you're like, I'm in tees. So make sure your T shirt is best damn T shirt we can find. And some of you like I want to go like in cutie little aprons and my marketing, my brand has a whole vibe. And that's I'm going to show up, whatever your version of that is. But I think it's so important to kind of lock down what that is for you. So we can get you the best version of that so that you can cloak up before you go out and do things.

Sari 5:52
Yeah, so that's not even like, oh, I gotta overhaul my whole wardrobe. It's like, I know, there's a great book called Alter Ego and like it is about what is that thing when you put on the glasses or you put on that bracelet or I have my amazing shoes over here that Judith help me pick out.

Judith 8:38
Right, you would like, you have almost like a Dorothy version of the you know, Dorothy Gale shoes waiting for, yours or spike studded and like completely badass and amazing. But for you like that shoe is now a symbolic of like you stepping into that version of yourself that goes out and does the damn thing.

Sari 8:55
And so yeah, it's not always about like, I got to overhaul my closet or my style is wrong or anything like that. It's like, it does help give you the confidence. It's like if you can do the work, say I'm gonna put on this t shirt or this outfit or this bracelet and really step into the version of me that goes into the store and goes up to the manager and says, hi, I would love to talk to you about my amazing product, right? And like you said, or go to the farmers market, or put yourself out on social media, that can be a really great tool. Because you're almost like, you're kind of like, this isn't me. This is some other version of me that I think.

Judith 9:40
I think this is a super version of me. This is the super version of me who like totally sells my hot sauce to the store manager. Yeah, the super version of me showed up today like maybe even me that doesn't feel always confident or know what he's doing or what he's doing. Like we'll leave that one at home and we're just gonna see the super version of me who puts on my favorite t shirt, my favorite pair of sneaks, my good hoodie, whatever, they roll out to do the thing. And that's kind of the role that style can play. Because the interesting thing about self image and self concept, and I won't bore you with all the sciency weird part of it, but there's an idea that our self concept really gets bolstered, like, bolstered by the things that we do. So if we want our self concept to transform or uplevel to I want my self concept to be I'm a business owner who makes six figures a year, I'm a business owner who's stocked in X number of markets, you know, that gets picked up by Whole Foods or whatever your identity is. That goal you're striving for, for our actual self concept to be realized, it has to be backed up by action that we take. So self concept is literally thought to think about yourself but to really have a very, like healthy self image. We need our self concept, our thoughts, we think to be really good and positive and forward moving. But we also need that to be backed by action. Otherwise, it's kind of being done in a vacuum. So part of this is like, what little action can I take today to help bolster my self image, how I show up in the world? And style is really an easy way to do that uplevel, so that you can go do the harder things like have these hard conversations, kind of like putting on a suit of armor.

Sari 9:56
Putting yourself out there, sending that email, doing that thing, the harder thing. Yeah, I love that you can kind of put on this paper cloak or earrings or anything that you want and be like, alright, I'm a person who can do this. And in self image, I mean, a lot of it's your environment, right? And your clothes or your environment. Environment you surround yourself and the choices you make, right? The books you read and all of it. The things that you can control. So is it fake it to make it? Is different than them?

Judith 11:39
Yeah, so fake it to make it would be like if I was borrowing someone else's cloak, right? So Batman decided, well, actually, my black cape is not good enough. So I'm gonna borrow Superman's. Currently red is in and I'm supposed to show up in a red cape. But we do this as business owners too, right? We're like, oh, well, actually, Susie's bake shop does it better. What is Susie doing? Okay, well, Susie has, you know, purple T shirts in her branding. And they all wear purple things in their hair when they go to the market. So I guess we need to do that too. And it's like, and obviously, I'm using a very silly example. But there's some version of this that shows up for you're stalking someone else's social media, you're stalking how someone's email newsletter looks. Like you're trying to like get hints for some sort of shortcut way to do this because somebody else is doing it better. And here's the rub. And here's where it's not fake it to make it. So fake it to make it says that I have to aspire to be someone else. Inspiration says I can take the best of what I'm learning from the people around me and make it my own. What I'm suggesting when you find your version of your cape, or your favorite sneaker or a hoodie or bracelet, or whatever your little thing is, that's your starter place. It's I'm going to take what I love and use it to help support me. I'm going to make this my own. And then maybe we'll get known as a guy who wears chucks at the market will hocking is amazing beef jerky, I don't know, right? Like that may become your thing, maybe not. But you're trying to make it your own. You're inspiring yourself to continue to take action. Aspiration, which is fake it till you make it is like I literally need to become this other person in order to be successful. I need to be anybody other than myself to be successful. And that is not what we are talking about. Which is why for each of us, our proverbial cloak is going to be different. Our thing is going to be different. Our branding or messaging, all of it really should be different.

Sari 12:07
And I can see a big difference with some of my clients who have really taken that ownership and inspiration but made it their own. Authenticity is so attractive. I think we forget that like we think we should be cookie cutters and, you know, I grew up in the 90s like everybody should be the same, right, with big shoulder pads.

Judith 14:32
Well, and I think the 90 sold us this idea of like makeovers happen in three minute montages. And like somehow we have an endless amount of funds available to us for makeovers, we have this like, never have trouble trying things on. I literally just read this whole email. It's a little ranty but whatever. And I talked about like the Pretty Woman Lie and she's all that lie, which like gives us this idea that like this is supposed to be easy as we like, step into this new style or this new identity or this new way of being. And it's almost like we should take off our glasses and shake our hair and like, voila. And I think, we think about entrepreneurship sometimes, right? Like, I have the right logo or the right, we get caught up in his minutiae, the right shade of yellow for my brand, then it's kind of like you're taking off your glasses and shaking your hair and you like a new creature. Like it's not that easy. Like, this is a process and it will feel painful and kind of icky sometimes. And I freaking love those movies, by the way, like obsessed with them. But I also recognize that this is somehow supposed to be easy, and it's not. It's just simply isn't.

Sari 15:42
Yeah, Can't Buy Me Love is one of my...

Judith 15:47
Yes, exactly. Also a makeover movie in it's own right, right?

Sari 15:51
Totally. Yeah. I love those comparisons. Cuz yeah. It's supposed to be a little messy, and you're supposed to kind of figure out your way, and what is your path, and you're gonna take inspiration from all these places, and not compare and despair because that is a terrible place to be operating from, but what can I be inspired by and then create my own unique brand that people are attracted to because it's really me. But it's like this evolving next level version of me.

Judith 16:26
Yeah, and the beautiful thing is, like, I think about style versus fashion. Sometimes it's fashion, we get pigeonholed, like fashion of a particular decade, or fashion of whatever the trend is, same with entrepreneurs, right? There's trends in entrepreneurship, suddenly everybody's doing this. Everybody's doing that. So therefore, I have to follow that. But if we're really following your own personal style, doesn't matter what's happening in the entrepreneur world, doesn't matter what's happening on the runways, we can always self reflect like is this for me, and where I see myself evolving? And the beautiful thing is, it gets really fun because when it's personal, we get to change it depending on how we're feeling, what mood we're in, like, it gets to evolve with us over time as our businesses' evolve. The same with your brand, you know, the cute logo you pick today, and that you're like super committed to. I don't know, if you've gone through this Sari, like a year later, you're like, it's trash, everything like to be redone. I hate all of it, the website that you agonize over, you're like, should this button be here, or here. This shade of gold or this shade of bronze, clearly speaking from experience. And then a year later, not even a year, I mean, if I totally honest, I think my website has gone through like 10 iterations. And the first one wasn't wrong. The second one wasn't wrong. And the third one was the fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh eighth wasn't wrong. My style evolved over time, my sense of self evolved over time, who I serve, and how I serve them evolved over time. So naturally, the outward appearance of that would also change. And like if we can kind of learn that with, like, our style, the sneakers you loved in high school probably not the same kind of sneakers you love today. Nothing's gone wrong here, folks. We can apply that same like, what do I like today to your business and how you show up for and how you market it.

Judith 18:22
So one thing I love that you do, maybe you could take us through this, is your body scan. And I think I just think it's such a powerful exercise because especially with women, and I think for men to some extent that we just, we're like living in this world where we think we're doing what we think we should be doing. And we're not necessarily listening to ourselves. So would you be willing to take us through a body scan?

Judith 18:51
Oh my gosh, yes. I love this. And for any of you who are like this just got really whoo, what just happened here? So let's just clarify what we're doing and why we're doing it. I tend to attract like really smart cookies and I get like sometimes side I'm like, okay, I can feel your eyes rolling, let me just tell you what's happening. So what I have found was a lot of my clients and I just say this, y'all I coach, a lot of doctors, I coach a lot of lady scientists, like people who are really in their head a lot. They're in their brain, they're thinking, thinking, thinking. If you're an entrepreneur, you're probably constantly thinking about your business, how to grow it, how to make money this month, this week, this day. So what happens is we start to ignore our bodies, as if we could literally operate as a brain without a body. That's not how it works. I mean, there's times, friends, I definitely wish I could just like pop off my head and be like, you take care of business, I will go do the dishes, but I think we can't separate them from each other. Unfortunately we don't work that way as humans. So to really be fully engaged in your business, we need your body to be cared for lovingly to come along for the ride. What I have found is particularly true women, and men too, but I coach primarily women. So it's the experience I have as a coach is we ignore ourselves to the degree that we forget to go pee. We like put it off, put it off, put it off, but we can't hold it anymore. And when a client literally was on an event, she was so stressed that she peed on herself because she forgot to go and then had to change mid event. Mind you, she's running the event. So like life happens, right? So when we ignore ourselves, we start to tolerate things that we don't even have any business tolerating like ill fitting undergarments, clothes that don't fit us, like we're physically uncomfortable all the time. And we wonder why we can't focus or concentrate. Well, when's the last time you actually paid attention to your body? And here's the cool thing, once you start to notice a little discomfort in your body, you will start to look around the rest of your life. And kind of be like, where else, where else like that, you know, basket of laundry that you keep tripping over, that you just never put away? Like, you're not going to be able to tolerate that anymore. You know, that weird setup in your kitchen that you know is not working for your business but you're still tolerating, you're tripping over the people who are helping you. Yeah, you won't be able to tolerate that anymore. So body scans are a great way to tune back in so that you can sort of tune your ear. And I use that both ways, like tune your ear to like, oh, where else in my life is things really not working or not serving me anymore, that can use some rearranging, some reorganizing, or maybe just some elimination. So that's why we do this. Now I will get my spiel over. Let's do it. If you're listening, you're driving, please pause and listen to this later. If you are just meandering around, you're in the same spot. And I want you to just uncurl your body, want you to uncurl your legs, get loose, a lot of you hold yourself so stiffly, you're gonna notice right away as soon as I said uncurl, some of you relax your shoulders for the first time today, some of you finally just took a deep breath for the first time today. And I just want you to pay attention to that. Have you been holding your breath all day and had your shoulders up like you're a turtle? Like, pull them down away from your ears, like, we're gonna pay attention. So what I want you to do is just from the top of your head, let's just say to the like, shoulder line, I want you to notice if you're feeling any sensations, and here's what I mean by that. Any physical pain, any physical discomfort as well as anything emotionally, you just kind of notice is sitting there. Maybe your face was really anxious and even holding it tight all day. Quite loose in your face. Let it go a little bit. Relax your tongue. So when you just notice oh, my face, my poor jaw. So you're like, oh, my neck, now you're really aware of your neck and just let it go. Let it go. Now from your shoulders down to the bottom of your torso. Even clenching your hands tightly, you know, let them go. Been holding your body, your torso tight. Let it go. Any physical discomfort, noticing anything? Like for me and like, maybe I'm gonna change my bra setting after this call, right? Real life, real life, y'all. Okay, from your waist down to your knees, are you noticing anything? Is your stomach a little restricted? Any physical noticing? Even if it's just your knees down to your feet. Or your shoes actually supporting you today? I mean, clients, I've had just like get rid of this shoe!

Judith 23:49
Notice it. I want you to pay attention to the physical things. But did you also notice any emotions? Any little hum of anxiety? Then you worry sitting there feeling doubtful. Are you pissed off? Frustrated? Angry? What did you notice? That's all that's a little bit of a clue as to what's happening inside. And it might give us a clue as to if you have not been showing up why you have been showing.

Sari 24:20
I totally surprised you with that. But I think it's really important from because I do work with so many high achievers and we're just go, go, go, go. And this isn't just about changing your outer clothes to fit some fashion or, you know, some mode, the mode of the day or the week or whatever is going on. It's like, I think if we can ground ourselves and even do that every day. I know I've done that a lot more where I'm like this ponytail or you know, I don't like the way this jewelry hangs, pulls my ears down or whatever it is, and like we could actually be way more effective and feel more confident, tune in.

Judith 25:07
Oh, absolutely. It's like people are walking around ponytails all day that hurt their heads and like I have a low grade headache. Like maybe it's not stress, maybe it could just be your ponytail is too tight. Why were you tolerating that, right? And then where else are you tolerating some discomfort that you don't have to?

Sari 25:29
Because like you said, I do think it started, you started to look around, you're like, wait, why am I always forgetting this plug, and I get over here, and then it's all this time wasted. Let me just get another plug or whatever it is, right? And like, the things you're tripping over and the little things that you're just tolerating, and I think that's just a really great place to start for people to notice. And a lot of times our body garments, our undergarments, and jewelry, and all the things that we're doing because like, we're just throwing stuff on. We're not even paying attention.

Judith 26:05
Yeah, like even your kit, like whatever product you're making, right? And I so like, I see this a lot to with people who are creatives. You have this amazing tool that once worked for you but maybe it's gotten dull like your knives are dull, your scissors are dull like something is like this tool you had is no longer serving you and you know damn well which like all of you have knives sets and you're like that one janky ass knife. Why do you keep it? Why do you keep going to its super dull? You hate this damn thing. And for whatever reason, your brain just automates it's like, you're like, my hand hurts! Well, yeah, you have the wrong tool. Your tool sucks. Like we just share with our clothes. And like, it's so fun to see it here and then ask my clients like, well, where else and then immediately they're like, that one pen that's really awful. Or that knife that needs sharpening or for my, you know, I have a few clients who are seamstresses, this janky ass scissors like, like I don't know why you kept them. There's a thought process going on that gets uncovered when we do something like that. So for a lot of times, I asked him like, well, why did you keep that? Then we didn't cover all their stuff, right? Like, well, I can't afford to buy another one, or this one was so expensive or, you know, this just the way it's always been done. And it's like, but if it's, if it's not working for you anymore, why are you keeping that around, whatever that thing is for you. That employee that is really no longer helping your business out. You know who they are, you know who they are.

Sari 27:35
Or that market or that, you know, online place that you're selling that. I know, I've had clients, where I've talked with them, and we've been like, why are we still working with that account? They don't pay you on time, they're pain in the ass. And yet, we just do it and we don't stop and question it. And so I love this idea of like let's question or physical like it was like a check in and then we can see what else is like, hampering us from taking action. Yeah. So, good. So how do you recommend people kind of re evaluate their style? Because I think, I don't think you're advocating that everybody follow some fashion trend or get on board with any one thing. I know that for sure.

Judith 28:28
So you see, you can't see me shaking my head radically over here because it's a podcast. I just realized that I'm like shaking my head and I'm like they can't see you, right? Yeah. Okay.

Sari 28:38
How can, yeah, what are some tools and like, why is it important to maybe just kind of look at what you are wearing and the clothes that you are choosing, you're put in your wardrobe and clothes you're choosing to put on? Like, what are some small shifts that might help?

Judith 28:58
Yeah, so the first layer I mean, in my program, we call it like edit, design, curate. So the first process is to edit meaning, like get rid of anything that doesn't serve you. So what is not serving you? Things that physically don't fit your body. Like that's a first easy entry point. It can't be stylish if it physically hurts, right? Like those shoes that like really don't fit well, anymore really never fit you. It's like we wouldn't allow your friend to take a hammer to your toes and then you keep that friend around. Like that doesn't make sense. We wouldn't be able to get rid of that person, right? Like they're weird. Same with clothing, it doesn't fit us like it actually is doing us a huge disservice. Like it's sending off a chemical cascade in our brain that we're in pain and our brain has to like, deal with the pain and then it's a distraction from the other shit we've got going on. Like you'll have businesses run, you have better things to do than to mess around with things that don't physically fit you that actually are very uncomfortable physically. So that's a really easy first wave of like editing out. The second wave of editing out is really with regard to your lifestyle. So there are certain things that like, maybe in your life before you became an entrepreneur, made sense. I was a full time lawyer, I was a litigator, I was in court every day, I was doing big trials. My fabulous wardrobe of suits served me well. Now I work from home, and I talk into a camera all day. And I have no desire, frankly, to wear a wool suit, in the middle of the desert, in the middle of the day. Like I just, I just don't, right? It doesn't make sense for my lifestyle anymore. And I don't wear, you know, six inch heels anymore. Like my feet are just not happy when I do it. It's just to fit my lifestyle anymore. Now, for some of you, your lifestyle is going to be different. Maybe you're making kid run, but you still have to meet the moms, that's the pickup line, and then go work on your business. What clothing is going to support that lifestyle. Like, maybe you're a dude who likes to hit the gym, quick shower, and then you roll to wherever you do your entrepreneurial stuff, you're baking, or you're creating. What do you need that's going to help support that lifestyle? Maybe some of you live, eat and breathe quite literally your business, what's gonna support that for you? Maybe suits or your jam, maybe that doesn't even make sense for you. For all of us can be different. But first, we want to make sure it fits your body, then we want to make sure it fits your lifestyle. And then the third part is we want to make sure it fits your personal style, not how you think you should show up. But what you actually like. How do you like to show up? Is there a color that you love? I had a client who was so ashamed that she love pink. Did you like it? She's like, I really do. She's like, with black is so flattering. It's slipping away, but you don't like black. We don't have a discussion. Let's find you the most like pinkish pink shenanigans that we can run if that's what you want. And that made sense for her, for each of you, your personal style is that. It's personal, you're gonna have favorite colors you love, you're gonna have favorite items that you love. If we get rid of the idea that has to be a certain rule, they have to have a certain body shape, or be a certain age, or certain way in order to wear things like what would you love to wear? And the same is true of your business y'all. Like really, this literally applies your business. Like what no longer fits your vision for your business? Who's no longer supporting your vision for your business? Then your business has its own personality, what's its personality? How do we want it to show up in the marketplace? Like these same principles apply. Now if you can practice and experiment with your clothes, then you can practice and experiment with your business. This is a quick buy in with low stakes, so that you can play a higher stakes game later by practicing the skills with your clothing.

Sari 32:59
So good. I love that. It's not about like overhauling and going on some magical makeover tour where you buy all the things that you think you should be wearing. Like they might not even make sense. You may, you know, fantasize about some evening dress but like not gonna fit your lifestyle in the kitchen or on the farmers market or anything like that. So finding things that are feel good on your body and feel like they fit your lifestyle and your preferences like you enjoy.

Judith 33:36
And the evening gown is on brand, right? Like, right, I have a friend who just started a dried candy company with his husband. And they're so fabulous. So if they showed up in something bright colored and fabulous with a unicorn, I'm like yes. Yes, that makes so much sense. Like he wears fabulous makeup. I'm like yes boo to all of that, right? But that's very much makes sense for him, for his brand, for him personally, for some of you, like that's not how you roll. So like again, like it's going to be so so personal. The beautiful thing is when you start to think this way, you stop spending on chasing trends. And you buy things way more intentionally and less often.

Sari 34:22
How does it affect though? I mean, there's a certain like, okay, let's just say somebody's like, I love my tee, my big baggy t shirt that has holes in it. And this is what I love to wear my, you know, kind of maybe you know from the outside like, okay, like, okay, go with it. But you know, now when I'm approaching a buyer, right, what's going on there psychologically, like, is it important for me to change my outfit or something like that?

Judith 34:57
Yeah, and I guess it's up to extra time, but I'm painting all day, I have to wear nice clothes to paint. And I'm like, okay, when you imagine that, like you, someone's giving you some amazing commission, and they're coming to like, pick up their commission painting or whatever the creative thing is right? Or you're winning an award for your creative endeavor, or whatever it is. Are you wearing your holiest, stinkiest, oldest t shirt and your gym shorts? No, you're just not. So I'm not saying that. Like, if, let's say you're making red sauce in the kitchen, don't wear a white button up. Come on, y'all. I love y'all. That's not what we're saying. That we are saying is, let's say whatever your endeavor is, whatever you make, even if it's a little messy, doesn't mean you have to show up to your kitchen or your facility all hot mess. We never know who you're going to encounter. Show up ready to win the award, show up ready to have the conversation, show up ready to pitch, and to sell, and to tell people why this thing's amazing, and why they should work with you, and have your picture all over their social media. Like make people actually want to help you and mark it you. It would be such a shame. And I've had this happen to a client, like where someone's so vested in your success. But then they have to have a conversation with you about your appearance. Like, damn, y'all, really? Like make it easy for them to help you. Make it like make it easy for people to want to be around you, and market you, and support you. And I'm not saying you have to show up glamorous. If glamour is not your jam. Okay, but what is your version of dressed up? What is your version of I cared about how I showed up today? And think about your future self, the future you is on the stage winning the award who got the best in blah, blah, blah, for whatever their product is. How are they showing up to win that award? They may be in sneaks and a tee, but I doubt it's their holy stained one.

Sari 37:04
Cuz it is a reflection on how you, I mean back to self image, right? It is a reflection on how you are treating yourself and what you believe about yourself and cleaning up those thoughts about like, well, I'm just not worth buying a new T shirt or the shoes but don't think all over them or even I mean as a as a cook, right? If you're in the kitchen, like invest in a in a chef's coat or great aprons or you're in a brand so I love it when people have like branded T shirts that fit. You know, they're not just maybe a t shirt, but they're like a really soft, like great fitted t shirt or a mechanic shirt or you know, like there's a lot of fun things you can do with your brand. And that can be part of your wardrobe, right?

Judith 37:59
Yeah, except my sister's a chef. She's been a chef. God. I want to eat her. I'll just say a long time. And, you know, she wears Crocs and her Crocs have bling. I really like her Crocs have these little like medallions and different like she changes at her Croc bling, because yeah, she needs good clogs. She's on her feet all day. She has been in the industry for a long time, like your feet all that takes a toll from standing all day. But like is she personalizes for her style. Yes, she has. And there's a cute little things I have like afros and little sayings, like I just love it. Like, oh my gosh, I'm here for this. So like, whatever your version of that is, like, totally play, let this be fun. It doesn't have to be arduous. But I think what's happening psychologically is like there's this idea that like, nobody sees me. But you see you, you matter. And if you're an entrepreneur, the idea and the hope is that you would be seen, so that you can make a bigger impact and reach more people with whatever your product is. So hiding is doing a huge disservice. And this whole thought process will nobody sees me. When you think thoughts like that, you're going to ensure that nobody sees you. But the most important person that you spend the most time with for an entire lifetime. The buddy who comes with you along the way is you, you see you, friend. And that's the most important opinion that matters. So, like if you start to care for this friend that's going to be with you for a lifetime, you can change your T shirt.

Sari 39:35
Just making up level choices along the way. And I'm just gonna say that if you're going to a farmers market or you're going to a store to pitch your product. One of my biggest pet peeves is do not wear other people's brands like I have a picture of one of my old clients with a big Nike swoosh on his T shirt and I'm like, why are you like usually you should be wearing a plain t shirt or your own brand. Big pet peeve, like do not represent anybody else's brand. No, that's not like, personal style. But like, as a business owner, like, represent your own brand or like, yeah, or just keep it neutral. But.

Judith 40:25
Yeah, that's true, right? Why are we hiding? Like, why is it like not even a thought probably just put on that T shirt, that Nike t shirt, and we're not dissing Nike, it's totally fine. Like, you put it on with like, not thinking it's just so automated. But the part of this is like is to be more intentional about all of this.

Sari 40:44
Because the reality is that other people are reacting or have thoughts about us. And we can't control everybody's thoughts and manipulate completely through our clothing. But right, like a chef comes out of the kitchen completely a mess with like a wrinkled coat with sauce all over it and, you know, button incorrectly or something like, we're going to make assumptions about what's going on in there versus one that comes out.

Judith 41:13
Yeah, like human heuristics are always at play, whether we'd like to believe it or not. So I do think there are systemic things that are inherently like misogynistic or racist about the way we view others. We all have biases. And I think we all need to learn to overcome them and spot them absolutely, while also recognizing when you're a business owner, that those human heuristics and biases are in play. So how do you want to work within those systems that you are in or combating or up against? Well, your appearance is one way that you can learn to, you know, overcome some ideas about what it is to be, you know, a black business owner, or you know, a Latin business owner, or an Asian business owner, or a woman business owner, like there already, you know, human heuristics already playing against you. And a lot of those systems, how you choose to show up, can sometimes help mitigate some of those factors, while also recognizing some shits just swept up in the way humans thank God help us all. All of it.

Sari 42:15
Yeah, because you might as well and I'm not saying to dress like how, you know, you think, fine balance there, right? And like, I still want you to be authentic, but like, what's up level your, the way you're carrying yourself and maybe taking a little extra time as you're going out into the world and presenting yourself because people are making judgments all the time and give yourself a little bit of a shot. Well, my goal with this episode, again, people might be like, this is a weird topic to talk about. But it's one of the things that I see opportunity with that can just make your life a little bit easier than it can give you that a little bit more confidence. And it's a simple, simple shift. You know, it's getting rid of the clothes that don't fit you well and hurt you. And I never thought about it that way. But yeah, like, I'm wearing pants right now. But um, you know, if I wear pants that are too tight, and it's cutting into my stomach, like, kind of always on my brain, and it's taking up extra space in there that I could be using to be doing something more productive.

Judith 43:27
Yeah, exactly. And that mindset you can follow into your business. What am I tolerating, that I simply don't have to tolerate anymore? That's just not working for me anymore. And like, what is the business need to support the life of the business? What do I need to support the lifestyle I live? How can I personalize this? Like those same principles apply business, closet, same ideas.

Sari 43:53
Yeah, and just, you know, I think these are some simple strategies of just stopping for a minute and caring for the body and that we are in, and the brain, and all of the things that are serving us, and helping us get to the next level. And just, you know, giving that a little bit of attention, a little bit of care, a little bit of notice. Because I do think it makes a big difference when you look in the mirror and you say I like this person was staring back at me. And it gives you a lot more confidence to go out and do those hard things as an entrepreneur.

Judith 44:25
It's hard when you're in the middle of a creative process, and you're washing your hands for the 20 millions time in a day and you look up and you're like, damn, I look rough. Like that is just such a confidence sealer that we don't need to have. Or you go to market and your table set up and then you look at the booth next to you and you're like damn, we look rough.

Sari 44:46
Yeah, that's a big one. Because yeah, you could definitely take the same piece around fashion as your booths set up and people are making those judgments about the wrinkly tablecloth, the stains all over it. Have been setup wonky or, you know, signs crooked, and things like that, we're making, making assumptions there as customers.

Judith 45:12
Make it easy for people to want to buy from you.

Sari 45:15
Yeah, exactly. It serves you and your confidence. So that's what I want to talk about it, but also serves customers, it's going to help you, you're going to show up better, and then your customer is going to feel that and see the effort and feel more confident as well. So it's just like, the good loop that keeps keeps reinforcing itself.

Judith 45:39
Make it easy for people to pay you money. We love you. But seriously.

Sari 45:46
I love it. Well, yes, please share with my audience where they can find you. You have amazing podcasts, and lots of great tips and strategies and mindset tools. So tell me where they can find you.

Judith 46:01
Yeah, the easiest way to enter in my world is in my podcasts, it's called the Style Masterclass Podcast. You can also check out my website and get on waitlist for any of the programs they offer by going to judithgaton.com.

Sari 46:14
So that's a great topic to talk about, can we totally refreshing of you, something people think about this normally, but I love that idea of the Alter Ego beyond our case, finding that thing that's feels like kind of helps us to take the risk, and do the things and then also editing our own wardrobe and doing that body scan help us show up that much better in the world.

Judith 46:41
Thank you, friend. Thank you and happy birthday.

Sari 46:44
Thank you for being with me today.

Sari 46:48
Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. It was a little bit different and that's what I wanted. I love the concept of Alter Ego. There's a great book out there by the same name that where you can really think about putting on your cape or having your totem and stepping into the person that you need to be whether that's in sales or showing up on social media, or you know, going in and making your product, or going to a farmers market, or pitching to a buyer. So important. I love this topic. And a huge thanks to Judith for joining us. She's one of my favorite people. I just love her energy and being around her and she just tells it like it is. I hope you enjoyed it. And until next time, have an amazing week!

Sari 47:41
The smartest thing you can do as an entrepreneur is to invest in a who to help you with the how to speed up your journey and help you skip the line. When you are ready for more support and accountability to finally get this thing done. You can work with me in two ways. Get me all to yourself with one on one business coaching or join Food Business Success which includes membership inside Fuel, our community of food business founders that includes monthly live group coaching calls and so much more. It's one of my favorite places to hang out and I would love to see you there. Go to foodbizsuccess.com to start your journey towards your own Food Business Success.