Full Transcript

Welcome to your Food Business Success. This podcast is for early stage entrepreneurs in the packaged food industry ready to finally turn that delicious idea into reality. I'm your host Sari Kimbell. I have guided hundreds of food brand founders to success as an industry expert and business coach and it's gotta be fun. In this podcast, I share with you mindset tools to become a true entrepreneur and run your business like a boss, interviews with industry experts to help you understand the business you are actually in, and food founder journeys so you can learn what worked and didn't work, and not feel so alone in your own journey. Now, let's jump in!

Welcome back to the podcast. I just love my new podcast intro music, it just makes me so happy every time I hear it. That's all the matters is that I love it. Hopefully you do too. And hey, take a moment. If you're enjoying this podcast, if you're new to this podcast, go over to Spotify or Apple podcasts and rate with a five star review, hopefully, and leave a review. It's so helpful for people to find this work. If you follow me on Instagram, you saw my reel, kind of recapping my retreat to Palm Springs. This was something I purchased last year. So it was like such a long time ago. And it was wild to be there, right? Like I had made the commitment and paid for it 12 months ago. And it was with the amazing Judith Gaton, who you heard on my podcast a couple months ago. And I thought this was actually a perfect segue or perfect time to talk about alter ego, because as you may have heard from the podcast, if you listen to that, is a style coach. And she is all about using clothing and makeup and shoes and all the things as a gateway to learn about yourself, and to step into versions of yourself that you want to become. So we did a lot of future self work. And I've been doing this in general for a little while and talking more about it. And I want to actually do some future self workshops here coming up in November and December. But it was a really great experience to spend that time with her. First of all, she's an amazing coach. And then also to just be in that environment with these really amazing women that were there. I always love those group retreats where you look at other people and you're like, they surely have it all together. And they're looking at you and they're thinking, surely she has it all together. And then you start talking. It's just like those conversations where you're like, yeah, really, you don't have it all together? I saw that you did it all. And we all just feel like, oh, we're all in this. We're all humans, we're all thinking the things. And none of us have it all together. And that's okay, we don't need to. So one of the things that we did though, as part of this, it was a glamor retreat. And we went to Saks Fifth Avenue, which I don't know that I've ever really been. And we did a private, we had kind of this private shopping experience. And this is not my normal place to go shop. But I had given myself some permission ahead of time and gave myself a budget. And it was like if I find something that's like, heck, yeah, right? It's a all in, I love this. I am willing to do that for myself and step into a version of myself. It's kind of like, the first time I flew first class, and I was like, oh, so this is what it's like. And it's like, I left that plane a different version of myself, like up leveling myself. So I don't know for a little while I just wasn't that into it. I was like, I felt a little uncomfortable and out of place. And then I was talking to one of the women, she was trying on these coats and jackets. And I was like, oh, that's really cool, I like that one. And then I was walking around that area and I found this amazing jacket and I put it on and it transformed me.

I felt like I was a new version of myself, a better version. One that had more, I don't know, confidence. I felt more together. I just felt, I don't know, more myself in it. It's hard to explain, more badass. I don't know, it just felt like a superpower. And I got the coat. And it's amazing. I love it. And I'll show you guys some pictures when they get here, we had a professional photographer and I got some. It was Palm Springs, it was kind of hot to be putting on a wool coat, but I did it anyway. So I had to have the coat in some of the photos. But it ties really nicely into what I want to talk to you about here today. And it's a follow up on how do we do those micro dosing of courage, right? How do we become a different version of ourselves? And this concept of the alter ego is a really cool one that I want to share with you today. Because I think it can really help you as a practical tool to be able to step into that new version of yourself, the one that's confident approaching that buyer, or the one that writes that email series, or put yourself out on social media, right? And it's like, it's that version of you that you imagine you need to be as a successful business owner. So we're gonna jump into this. I actually recorded this episode a while ago and there were some topics that came up that I wanted to get to. And so it was actually perfect timing, coming back from this time with Judith, and thinking about this coat. And really it becoming almost my superpower, my cape, which we will talk about here more in the podcast right now. So let's get going.

I always say, you know, entrepreneurship is just a vehicle, if you let it, to help you step into that next version of yourself. To evolve, and to become a better person to reach your highest potential, right? You weren't, you could do your whole life perfectly, whatever, quote, unquote. But you probably never ever going to reach your fullest potential. But we can get a lot closer. And entrepreneurship requires you to step into discomfort, to do things that are outside of your zone, right? Of where you naturally kind of lie, that easy part of life. And it's going to require you to talk with people, to make offers, to potentially be rejected, to have all these negative feelings come up because failure is possible, right? You are putting yourself into harm's way. And so last week, I gave you some strategies for courage. And, you know, I was reminded of the alter ego when Judith and I were talking and then I brought it up with some of my clients this last week, and I wanted to share it with you. So this, a lot of this comes from Todd Herman's book, it's called the Alter Ego Effect. And Todd is a, he's been working with high performance athletes, as well high performance business leaders for many, many, many years. And he really uses this, this technique of the Alter Ego Effect. And actually what he saw early on was that the people he was coaching, the athletes were doing this naturally. And he just kind of realized, like, oh, how do I systematize this? How do I make this into a strategy to help other people? So it took him like 22 years of doing this, and he finally wrote this book. And it's really fantastic. And then my coach Dave Moreno, he put together a worksheet, and I'd love to share some of the things from that I wrote down a couple of years ago. But let me kind of give you the high level of what this is. And then we'll talk about ways that you can employ this strategy because I think it is one of the most effective tools we can use, especially when you're just starting out. And as humans, we have this very unique capability to tap into creative projection to our imagination. You think about kids, right, putting on superhero capes and you know all the costumes and things that they do to try on these different personalities. And it's very real to them. And we call it play but it is a way of trying on different personalities and kind of unlocking their potential. And then as adults, we kind of put that all away. We're like, oh, that's childish, or that's child-like, but really, it is a tool that can be used for you to help bridge the gap between, here's who you are right now. Maybe you're, you have that fraud complex of like, I'm too young, I'm too old, I'm too loud, I'm too shy, I don't speak English well enough, I'm not from this country. You know, I, I'm worried, I doubt I'm confused, I'm scared, all the things that you are now.

But you see the vision of where you want to go, you see this food business that you're like, this could really be something I want to step into this potential of my business and being an entrepreneur, and being a CEO, becoming that person, but you aren't there yet. And so we need tools to help us bridge the gap. And so this alter ego is, is a really great tool to do that. So what it is, is you're essentially putting on this cape, right? Metaphorically of, it could be a superhero, it could be people you're inspired by from television, or sports or people in your family. And you are embodying those traits but it's like, it's suspended belief, right? Because you might be like, no, this is me, I'm shy. But you know, you need to go approach a buyer, multiple buyers and put yourself out there. You need to go on social media, and do reels, and all these things. And so instead of you trying to force yourself through willpower, just like, just do it and muscle through it. Instead, you're like, who could, like what cape of what person could I put on who I admire? And what are the qualities and traits that they embody? And how can I sort of step into that, right? We're suspending our belief that we could be that person. And then we're sort of acting from that person. So there's some really great examples. Definitely in sports, a lot of people do. They name their person, you know. He has a story in the book about Bo Jackson, that he says Bo Jackson never played a minute of on that field. It was Jason from Friday The 13th that he was putting on that persona, and that he was stepping out into that field. The fears, aggressive, all the things that he needed to become to be that high level performer. Another great example is Beyonce. I mean, the amazing Beyonce, right? And she, when she started doing, she came from a very religious background in church, and singing in the choir. And when she wanted to step into doing more mainstream pop stuff, she took on a persona of Sasha Fierce. And this helped her to, because she had a lot of, you know, fears and things around performing in more mainstream pop culture. And whether it was right or wrong, like a lot of her values came up. And so as Beyonce, she didn't feel like she could be that person. But she put this persona of Sasha Fierce on. And what happens is, Judith and I talked about this, this is not faking it to make it. This is not that. This is tapping into what is already inside of you. It's an authentic version of you. It's just been sort of hidden, it's been tamped down, right? Because it's scary. It's scary to put yourself out there. And so it helps you to put on that cloak, like I said, of stepping into that version of you. And ultimately what happens is you bridge the gap, like you do eventually become that person and that person becomes you. And it's authentic. It's real. It's just helps you to take that leap into that next version of yourself. So I hope because you're listening to this podcast, because you were thinking about your business, starting it or growing it, that you don't want to just be average. I mean, just by the very nature of you thinking about being an entrepreneur or you doing it, you're not average. This is not what average people do. And I don't think you want an average business. I hope that you want an extra ordinary business. But for you to have an extraordinary business, you are going to have to step into an extraordinary version of yourself. And it's going to require courage, it's going to require discomfort. Do you want the result of an extraordinary business and extraordinary you more than your fear of the discomfort? So we're talking about embracing this alter ego, and how do you actually do it? So he talks about fields of play. So you may be if you're a parent, right, you being a parent, that's one field of play. You being a daughter, or a sister, or you being, you know, if you go to a job, you being that person at your job, or if you're going to church, or just all of those different places where we show up, right? And so he calls those the fields of play. And so context really does matter. You shouldn't be Sasha Fierce, or whatever your persona is, all the time. It's in certain situations. And he talks about a great example where, in his own business, he shows up very confident in the challenger when he's working with athletes, right? But when he goes home, he was like, not taking off that version of himself with his kids. And it wasn't really working. And so he realized, like, I need to step into this other version of me that is true, it's authentic. It's not a fake version of me. But I need to step into the role of dad, and give her and compassionate and so he was having a challenging day with his daughter and coming home. And he realized, like, the image he conjured up was Mr. Rogers. And so he said, what would, you know, Mr. Rogers do in this situation, my daughter's having a tantrum? And so it was a very different response than coming as that business owner, and the Challenger and the coach and all of that. And so think about what field of play, and I'm just going to assume it's probably business because we're here talking about your food business. But those fields of play, maybe it's going to a farmers market, it's approaching a buyer, it's your social media, how you want to put yourself out there, right? And so those fields of play, there's going to be moments of impact, that impact, that moment where you ask for the sale. You email that introduction. You make and put that reel up. And there's gonna have these, you know, these moments of impact. And so how do you want to show up? What traits do you want to embody? Think about when you're making that offer to somebody, you probably want to be engaging, friendly, open, confident, a little badass, right? A little fierce, like, this product is amazing, you would be crazy not to have it on your shelf, right? Or you know, buy it at a farmers market. So sometimes, especially I find, for me, as an introvert for those kinds of situations, I have to put that on. I conjure up people in my life who I know or those TV shows, I was thinking about who are some of mine, you know, more recently, I with COVID, I watched a lot of New Girl that Jessica Day, right? And I was like, yeah, she actually is somebody that I really admire, like her character of how she shows up vulnerable and a little quirky and fun and a little bit more playful. I can be very serious sometimes. And so I was thinking about like, that's some of who I want to be in my business. I also think about my dad and how he showed up very kind of similar, like, a little playful, very light hearted. I mean, he was very, very confident and he was a great manager, but he really listened and he was vulnerable. Like he was willing to have tough conversations but be very loving in those conversations. I think about my grandma who like, man, she I mean depression, like the depression and supporting her family and her husband would go off, my grandpa would go off on these long. They were very blue collar, right? And he would go off on these long projects of construction. And she'd be home taking care of four kids and she waited tables, and she started a cake decorating business, right? And she just, she was kind of a hard woman, but she was fierce, man. I mean, just some of those traits. Like if I can embody that and be like, I'm never giving up, you know, I am strong, fierce and badass, and I'm going to make it work, I am never going to quit. And so who are some of the people that you really admire? Now, context matters. Remember, like, you don't necessarily want to be the same person, in certain, in other fields of play that you need to be when you are making an offer or doing a reel or something like that. But what ultimately happens, right, we're going to have a lot of what he calls the enemy show up. So it's imposter syndrome. It's doubt, it's fear. He also talks about the enemy, not the common ones, like doubt, and fear and worry, but tribal narratives, which I find this to be very true. I was like, oh, yeah, this is really good. So it could be like, you know, I come from a culture that doesn't do these things. I think about some of my Asian clients, like you just, the most important thing is that you are a doctor, a lawyer, or an engineer. And we don't do those things culturally, when we're an entrepreneur, right? Or we say these things, that we put ourselves out there.

And so thinking about, like, what are those things that were just sort of passed on to you culturally, that are maybe limiting you? And so, an alter ego could be a really great tool in that case, right? Where you're like, culturally, I'm supposed to be quiet and not put myself out there and not ask people for things. So who could I tap into, and those traits that I need to in order to have an extraordinary business, and to really tap into my full potential. So he talks about the alter ego is really the back door, right? When all that fear and doubt and tribal narratives, some of those thoughts, like some of the thoughts that were coming up for some of my clients were like, I'm a bother, I'm too much, or even like, I've never had any experience in a kitchen, right? Those are limiting thoughts, like who cares? So it might take you a little more work in the kitchen. That doesn't mean you are any less worthy of having a successful business and making an offer. So it's really tapping into, you know, stop trying to change who you are, but you're kind of tricking yourself. And you're leveraging the skill of suspending your belief to step into this person. And I love what he says it's, it's about activating this part of you. It's not pretending. So this is already inside of you. If you can, if you're already seeing it as something that you want to become like it is inside of you, it is possible for you to do it. And it's possible for you to step into that version of you that really is true and authentic. But it is that version of you that's higher, that is more evolved, that is more of your potential. Because we have to get over ourselves, we have to get over that circular thinking and all the ruminating and all the things that are keeping us stuck. And that's why I do the work that I do. Because I want to help you overcome these things and get there faster. And I watched some of you guys struggle for years, like for years, some of you have been following me. And you're like, I'm starting now. And then three months later, I'm starting now, you know, and like, here we are three years later, and you still haven't started, you still haven't done the work or you have, but it's going really slow. And so for you to really step into what needs to happen. I love this alter ego. He also, I just wanted to mention this part about he talks about scripting. And so you could use the alter ego as a sort of part of your script. But we talked about visualization as like just this thing we should all know how to do but really says you really want to actually write it out. You want to again that field of play, right? Let's say you're going and asking a buyer or you're you're going to talk with a buyer and pitch your product to be on the shelf, actually writing it out how you want it to go and how you see it going and try to tap into all your senses like what sounds are happening? What are you smelling? What are you wearing? How are you feeling? How's the conversation going? And embodying those traits of this alter ego, this other version, and these traits that you need to have. So lastly, he says, one thing that can really help with this is actually adopting a totem or an artifact. And that there's this thing called enclosed cognition. And they've done studies on this. And it's pretty amazing like bringing students in just plain clothes to do a detailed, difficult assignment versus giving them a lab coat, and telling them that they're a scientist, versus they did one with a lab coat where they just said, you're a painter. And the ones that had the lab coat or were told this is a lab coat, you're scientists, they did performed much, much better on these tests, it's pretty incredible. And there was no difference between the people who were a painter, and a just regular close student, because in this particular exercise, this was very detailed, it was problem solving, right? It wasn't creative. So you can do the same thing, we can tap into this. There is that piece of like when I put something on physically, that represents these traits that I want to embody that you actually step into it even more. So you guys know, I have these spiked heels. I don't wear them often. But they sit on my ledge, and I look at them. And I'll kind of conjure them up. Sometimes I feel them, they have spikes on them. And then there are times where I will actually wear them because I'm like, I need to really embody this version, this Badass version of myself and do something really hard. I also have a photo of my dad on my desk, and I'll look at him sometimes when I want to really conjure up that piece of me that I want to be playful and less serious but also still get the job done, like still get the result, but through a more vulnerable, open, playful way. Because you guys know, one of my big, my impossible goal for 2025 is to create this big business, but have fun doing it. So he is one of those people I tap into, for sure. So think about what that might be for you. And again, different fields of play, he talks about when he was younger, 21 starting this business, he looked really young. And he was kind of coming off as really young and less confident and less experience. And so he decided like smart people and successful people wear glasses. So he went and got a pair of non prescription glasses and would wear these and he would put on, he named it Richard and he would put on Richard so he'd put these glasses on and he would step into this version of himself that he saw himself who needs to be running this business, right, the entrepreneur. So think about for you what that might be, maybe it's a bracelet, maybe it's a pebble from someplace that helps embody those traits. You know, it can be any little thing, it can be something that you hold, something you wear, could be you know, certain watch, like get a watch that you feel like really embodies success and wear that when you go talk to a buyer, right? Something like that. So it should be something personal, it should be something you don't need to share with anybody else. It's kind of your little secret with yourself. And it's something that, it's like when, and you don't want to wear it all the time. So it shouldn't just be like your regular watch, right? It's something that in those critical moments, those moments of impact, you're really pulling that in and you're embodying that and you're stepping into it. It's like your phone booth moment, where you go in just like Superman, and you have that moment of transformation, right? The glasses go on or come off, whichever one it is.

And then the other thing he recommends is, again, I talked about this last week of like microdosing courage is like, put on that persona, that really confident, brave, friendly, outgoing persona, whoever you want to be and go into a coffee shop and order a coffee in that personality, put on that totem and walk in as that person. How do they order that coffee differently? This is essentially method acting, if you follow actors who do that kind of work, where they're becoming that person. They are like living that character. But you're gonna do it not from playing a role for a movie, but actually somebody that you want to become and be more of. A great example that came up with one of my clients was going to a hotel for, you know, for an anniversary with his wife, and asking for an upgrade or asking for champagne at no charge, right? And like the person who's thinking, I'm a bother, or I'm, you know, getting in their way, like, they don't want to talk to me, something like that is going to ask very differently than if you put on this persona of somebody that you're like, you know, very confident out in the world and you put on that persona, you're going to ask very differently or show up very differently. And you're not going to take the no if you get to no personally, right? And maybe you get a yes because you're asking in this new version of you. So find ways, go into the coffee shop, you know, ask for the upgrade. Just try to find moments in your day where you're putting yourself out there in this persona. Just play with it, try it on, right? What's the harm? Like it could actually be something that's really helpful and useful for you as you step into this version of who you need to become. That CEO, that boss, that entrepreneur, who is creating an extraordinary version of themselves to create an extraordinary business. I was looking back on this worksheet that I did with my coach, and it starts with the enemy. And so describing your own enemy first, and my enemy uses fear of judgment and not fitting in, and it uses the worst power of my enemy. The worst thing it does is extremely critical, right? Really self critical, beats myself up. So that is my enemy. And then I needed to list 10 things that my alter ego does differently. And at that time, I named her super Sari. I put on super Sari, and she feels the fear and uses it to create more value. It drives her. She believes she's amazing. And if someone else doesn't think so, they're just confused. She follows through on what she says, right? She's a badass, that's I love the badass 30 for this. I follow my calendar, she does her workout. She follows her diet protocol. She does self care and does the hard things and shows up. She makes time and puts out effort to connect with friends and family. She's a leader. She believes she is 100% worthy, and 100% lovable. Confidnece comes from in. And this really is, he talks about. this is an inner game, not an outer thing. So inside job versus an outside job. And this really is about you. Did you put it all out on that field of play today? Did you, you know, really step into that version where you were like, there was that opportunity and I took full advantage of it. I made that request, I felt a little uncomfortable. There's nothing worse than laying down for the night and thinking gosh, I wish I would have done that. I wish I would have said that. Instead this is like you putting in all out on the field. So at the end of the day, it is not about the outside circumstances. It is not about, did other people approve of you or did you get what you want? It's, did I show up? And my three super powers were confidence, trustworthy, and leader. Think how I change a little bit now, I do feel like I have stepped into a lot of those. I'm going to revisit this exercise and think about, what are the three new superpowers of my new alter ego two years later? And so I hope you take the time to think about your own alter ego and who would you step into on different fields of play at those moments of impact. I would love to hear from you about what are your alter ego is, send me a DM on Instagram or send me a quick email at [email protected] and tell me about your experience with this. And until next time, have an amazing week!

The smartest thing you can do as an entrepreneur is to invest in a who to help you with how to speed up your journey and help you skip the line. When you are ready for more support and accountability to finally get this thing done. You can work with me in two ways. Get me all to yourself with one-on-one business coaching or join Food Business Success which includes membership inside Fuel, our community of food business founders that includes monthly live group coaching calls and so much more. It's one of my favorite places to hang out and I would love to see you there. Go to foodbizsuccess.com to start your journey towards your own Food Business Success.