Full Transcript

Sari 0:00
Welcome to your Food Business Success. This podcast is for early stage entrepreneurs in the packaged food industry ready to finally turn that delicious idea into reality. I'm your host Sari Kimbell, I have guided hundreds of food brand founders to success as an industry expert and business coach, and it's gotta be fun! In this podcast, I share with you mindset tools to become a true entrepreneur and run your business like a boss, interviews with industry experts to help you understand the business you are actually in, and food founder journeys so you can learn what worked and didn't work, and not feel so alone in your own journey. Now, let's jump in.

Sari 0:50
I should not be here, I am recording this podcast on my birthday. This is definitely not how I thought my birthday would be. I should be in Sedona having a meditation retreat, and coming back to you guys all enlightened and refreshed. And instead, I got COVID last week. And all of the plans that I had made were canceled. And instead, I felt terrible, and have experienced the worst exhaustion, the most unbelievable exhaustion I've ever felt in my life. And I have a whole new compassion for those of you who have experienced COVID. And for everyone going through something, I know that this is a really challenging time. Both as we look globally. I mean, these are all just facts and circumstances in the world. But there are many of us who are saying this shouldn't be happening, gas prices shouldn't be this high. Whole Foods shouldn't be raising my prices without my permission. I have a client that I'm working with now whose father should not have been hit by a drunk driver, right? And life is full of the shoulds and the shouldn'ts. And today, I want to talk to you about why these words are the most toxic words. And I want you to banish them forever, if possible. These are two words that I catch myself saying. And I tried to immediately say, no, this is what's happening. I get to, I want to, I choose not to. The shoulds, the case of the shoulds. I mean, how many times a day do you catch yourself? Or have you ever even thought about how many times a day you say this shouldn't be happening, this car shouldn't be going so slow in my lane. You know, these supply chain issues shouldn't be happening. I should be in this store by now. I should have sales like this. I should have a product that is high quality and not have any of the issues that we're having with ingredients or formulation. This shouldn't be happening. I mean, heck, the weather outside it's raining. This definitely should not be happening. Come on, come on universe! COVID and then raining on my birthday. And yet, this is what is happening. And today I am also, this podcast is a celebration of two years, of 104 episodes, of creating this podcast, and bringing you a new episode each week. And it's something I am ridiculously proud of. And I'm celebrating in my own way today and, you know, on my birthday and also the day that this comes out. And I think that there is something pretty profound about getting older, right? And like 47, it feels a lot closer to 50 and 46. And I have to think about what that all means in my life, in my head, right? There's just a meaning that I assigned to it. It's not good or bad.

Sari 4:57
And so, today is happening exactly as it should be. And I want to offer you some strategies in this podcast episode. I didn't mean for it to be kind of a downer but this is where we are. I'm probably have a little less energy than normal but it's a really important topic because I see it all around me with clients. I've been giving some presentations inside Food Bevy with Jordan Buckner and his group. And I just did a presentation on like, what's the rush? Why are we all in such a rush? And like improving our relationship with time. And the shoulds are a really big piece of what's creating our lack of peace, right? It's creating an experience that is suffering. I mean, just notice how you feel in your body when you say, this shouldn't be happening, or that shouldn't have happened, or it should have happened like this. It feels terrible. It feels powerless, it feels like we have no control over the situation. I love the quote by Byron Katie that goes something like, when you argue with reality, you only lose 100% of the time. And I just think it's a really, like I said, a disempowering place to be, it's a place that keeps you spinning out and ultimately wastes time, right? It wastes your precious time, your energy. And so I do want to give you some strategies that have been really helpful for me, to eliminate the shoulds, to stop shoulding on myself. And ultimately, what that does is it allows me to enjoy this experience called life. And that really is my mission. And how I want to contribute in this world is to help others help you to live a life that is more fulfilling, that has more meaning. And that you just feel better inside, that we eliminate much of the suffering, like life is 50-50, right? COVID happens. Drunk drivers happen. Supply chain issues happen. Weather happens and canceled the market or whatever it is, right? There's inflation, all the things they are all neutral. And it is through our interpretation that we create our own suffering. And so one of the first things that has been really helpful, and I've mentioned it a couple times, but I want to just like really parse it out here is that I do a practice every morning where I count my days left. And this isn't meant to be a morbid thing. But time is precious. And how do you want to experience your days, these short amount of days like we are here for a limited time, we have an experience that is given to us from birth to death. And we don't know when that is, right? And so, I'm guessing now, of course, there is no guarantee. Life is uncertain. I am not promised tomorrow but I'm gonna put it out there like 85, right? And so subtract your age. And so today, according to that math, I have 13,989 days and that does not feel like that many. I feel like oh like when I look at the balance of my life like it's like 17,155 days that I have lived as of today, my birthday at 47 years old, and like I have fewer days remaining than the time that I have lived. And I want my experience of those to be contribution and meaning and experiences and connection and feeling okay, feeling good, feeling at peace with the world and all the things in it. And it's easy to say there was a time when it was easier. And that just is never true.

Sari 9:55
There are going to be kind of easier times we have come through a boom cycle. And I love the quote, I know Tony Robbins says it a lot, to look up who actually said it first. But good times make for weak people. Weak people make for hard times, hard times make for strong people, strong people make for good times. And it is going through these experiences of challenge. And you know, you could attribute it to bad luck, or just, you know, this down cycle that we're in, all the things going on in the world. Well, things have always been going on in the world. Always. There's always something, and there's always people who are on the upside and always people on the downside. And it's fascinating to look at businesses that have actually been created during downtimes, pivots that have been made and new inventions and innovation oftentimes happen in down times. And so are you going to be one of the strong people that during this downtime, you come out stronger, you come out better, right? Like we don't know why this is happening in the world. But I guarantee you it is not happening to you specifically. But these things are happening and then our experience of them are what we make it mean. Do we make it mean that there's something wrong with us internally? Like we never get it right, we have bad luck, we're not worthy. What did we say this is an opportunity for growth, for me to come out stronger? So the first strategy that I want to offer you when you find yourself in a case of the shoulds or shouldn't, that you put it into perspective. This planet is 13.8 billion years, we are a tiny speck of dust spinning around in nothing. And we have these precious years, you know, somewhere between 80 and 100 years if you're lucky. That we get to create meaning, that we get to contribute. So I encourage you to do the math and check in, maybe not daily, but check in frequently and say, how do I want to use this time left? What do I want my experience to be? I will tell you that working with hundreds of people starting their businesses, becoming an entrepreneur, that one of the keys to success is enjoying the journey. Again, there's going to be negative, there's going to be positive, right? There's going to be things that we think are negative. Have you guys have had something that you're like, oh my gosh, that was the worst thing in the world or when it comes up, right, it feels like the worst thing that has ever happened. And then you realize it was actually the best thing. You're so grateful for that experience, right? And there are so many if you look back in your life, there are probably many of those. And so can we instead of getting into the drama of it right in the moment and creating unnecessary suffering and unnecessary drama, can we lean into it a little bit more and say this is what is happening? So when the shoulds come up, when the shouldn't come up, I shouldn't have had COVID. Like, shouldn't have had to cancel my trip. I shouldn't be here on a rainy Tuesday, celebrating my birthday by myself. But it is. It is what is happening is the reality of it. And it's like I can either push against it and use all my effort to say no, this shouldn't be happening. Or I can just let go. And just this is what is. One of the biggest lessons, one of my biggest transformations this summer. And I told you about reinvention already in Episode 100. But it has been this concept of surrender. On my computer, I have a bunch of sticky notes and one of the ones right up front, right where I can see it- I can handle this, I surrender to what is.

Sari 14:38
And it just brings up so much peace, right? No matter what is happening out in the world. I can handle this and you can handle this. We are literally built to handle this. We have these amazing minds. Our brains are built for problem solving, for processing. There is a 1 in 400 trillion chance that you are here today, you are born in this moment. And then you add that you are in a country that allows you to create a business, to even think that that's possible, and to have the tools available to you, and the access, and the mentors, and the resources, like you hit the jackpot! And yet, we want to argue against, that we want to push against it. And so this concept of surrender has just been completely transformational in my life. It has instantly reduce the suffering, the upsetness, that drama, that I have felt for much of my life. And I want to encourage you to lean into surrender. One of the teachers that I discovered in this Surrender, Reinvention process is Michael Singer. And I just want to encourage you, if this resonates with you, if it speaks to you, and you're like surrender, whew, that feels like the thing that I might need to try. And so he has a great podcast called The Michael Singer Podcast, it's great place to start. He's also been on podcasts by Sounds True. So you could look up, just search his name, Michael Singer, S, I, N, G, E, R. He's written books, one called the Surrender Experiment, and then Life Untethered. And then he just, maybe it was called Untethered Soul was the first one, and then Living a Life Untethered is his most recent one. Also, you can get him on Audible, All The Things.

Sari 16:56
I just cannot tell you how much peace and wisdom and just feeling better that has brought into my life. Because this is just what it is. I was just talking with one of my clients, and we were talking about this movie called Luck. It's really cute. It's on Apple TV during my COVID, quarantine, I watched it and it was great. It was very cute. And it was really, it was about this concept of like, Luck, right? And like, why do some people seem to have bad luck, and some people have good luck. And that actually, like sometimes bad luck, is the thing that helps us become resilient and helps us to innovate and create, and what seems like bad luck can actually be good luck. And we wouldn't want good luck all the time. It seems like we should like why can't we just have good luck all the time, we would also be walking around just in complete comfort, not wanting to push the boundaries, not wanting to grow and to evolve. So we don't want good luck all the time. It's amazing when it happens. And we have so much appreciation when you look at the contrast of it. That's where I encourage you to go is look at the contrast. And so one of the other strategies that I use when I'm in a particularly bad case of the shoulds and the shouldn'ts is to look at the progress, to build evidence and give some airtime to all the ways that I have succeeded. And look at the ways you have grown, that you have you overcome, that you have succeeded. And what are the ways that the things that you thought were bad, bad luck are actually good. And we often only give airtime to all the negative things, all the things that are happening to us, right? We just go into that spiral of despair. And again, we feel so powerless and it feels like we're the victim of this, and why us, and we feel like we should and the entitlement comes up, but actually really looking and taking a step back and saying where is it that I have succeeded? You know that I've taken my power back and even in the face of bad luck or things that shouldn't be happening, I actually came out stronger and better for that experience. So really work on building that evidence, especially, you know, writing it down in advance, knowing you're gonna have moments and being able to pull that out and refer back to it. And then progress, celebrating wins. We are most at peace. We are most happy when you're feeling the most successful. Our brains are literally like yes, like we are moving ahead is through progress. It is actually not by achieving the goal. It is through the small one ends and stopping and celebrating them. So I have a podcast on celebrating wins. We do it inside Food Business Success every Wednesday, we do a post where people celebrate their wins. We need places where we can go to say, look at what I did, I overcame this challenge, I made this call, even when I was scared, I did this thing I put out this post, I did this reel, this buyer called back, like, we have to build in progress, because it's what creates the motivation and the satisfaction. If all you do is beat yourself up, all the way to achieving that big goal, you're gonna be really unhappy, if you even get there. I don't recommend hating your way all the way to success, it's just not going to be that enjoyable. And indulging in the shoulds and the shouldn'ts is a way of hating on ourselves, of saying we didn't do it right, it should be different, we should be different. I really believe that it is about enjoying the journey. And progress is how you do that, celebrating your wins. It also gives you confidence, right? And it's something that you're like, oh, I have confidence that I will keep going that I, you know, pick myself up, even if I don't know exactly what I'm doing, but I can figure it out. And so if you want to create confidence, build more confidence, it is in that progress and celebrating the wins.

Sari 21:38
And then the last thing I want to offer is gratitude. Having a practice of gratitude, again, perspective, right? Like, wow, I shouldn't even be here, 1 in 400 trillion chance that I am alive, and that I am alive in a first world country that gives me the opportunity to create a business, to even think about this. To focus on what you do have make a want list. And by that I mean want what you already have, feel gratitude for what is in your life. Not that something out there in the future will bring you happiness, but that what you have now is what is important, and what is meaningful, or what can give you joy and fulfillment now. Spend more time in the future, being grateful for the future, and what is coming for you. Because you are willing to take action. Gratitude is one of the fastest ways to shift your mindset, your feelings of poor me, and lack, and scarcity. And it can instantly take you into abundance. And that I'm enough and the world is working out and things are working out for me. Creating a space for gratitude every day. You guys know I just every day I greet the day with like a big yes, throw my hands up, feel the carpet underneath my feet. I'm here another day, I have another opportunity to surrender to what is and to go out and contribute and connect and affect one other person in a positive way. And that's what I do here on this podcast. And that's what I do in my work as a business coach, and a life coach. And it's what I do inside Food Business Success. And I'm so grateful for all of it. And birthdays are a great opportunity to really look back over the year and say, wow, what a year. What an amazing, amazing year! The people I have met, the community that I connected to, the multiple communities, the friendships, the family, the experiences, all of it. And the bad stuff, quote, unquote, the hard stuff. I'm here for all of it. This is the human experience. And I'm so grateful. It really can shift you very quickly from a state of all those negative things, the scarcity, the entitlement to one of abundance and enoughness and wonder and curiosity. Like I wonder what's going to happen today? I wonder who's going to reach out? I wonder who I'm going to connect with and touch and create meaning for? And I just want you to be in the same spot, to give yourself the opportunity because if we don't plan for it, if we don't put purposely incorporate it into our life, it will never happen.

Sari 25:04
And there is peace, there is trust, there is confidence and calmness on the other side. So stop shoulding all over your life and all over yourself. This is completely within your control, your experience is within your control, it is not what happens to you, it is how you react to it. And I don't want you to react, I want you to surrender to it and allow it. And then here's the key, we don't just give up, we don't say, oh, this is happening, right? This is COVID, or this is, this death, or this is the other things in the world. Then that's where our power comes in, when we allow it to be what it is, instead of resisting it, reacting to it. And we just say this is what is now, what do I want to do about it? How do I want to go forward? How do I want to bring meaning to my experience? And that's exactly what I'm trying to do here is use this experience to be in gratitude, to surrender. I'm so grateful for this body that is healing itself and getting a little better each day. Let's not lose the lessons of COVID, and the pandemic and everything else going on in the world. Like that was a moment to stop and say what is really important to me. And whether this should or shouldn't be happening and all the disappointment and the cancellations and all the things. This is what's happening. And what do I want to do with it, please do not lose the lesson of COVID. Do not lose the lessons of 9-11. Do not lose the lessons of somebody close to you passing away. Right? Because all of these other little things are just opportunities for us to grow and to evolve, and to do better, and to be more, and to innovate and to create, to evolve. That is our purpose as humans. If you just want an easy life, do not become an entrepreneur. If you want a life that will challenge you, that will help you grow, that will bring the most rewards you have ever felt, the most satisfaction. I don't have kids, but it would probably be on par to that, it is like your baby in many ways. If this journey is one you're going to choose, I highly suggest leaning into these strategies because there will be lots more days of ups and downs. This is your life. This means you are alive, and you are doing the work, and you're solving problems. That's what an entrepreneur does. We solve problems. We don't spend time in the wallowing of the shoulds and shouldn'ts. All right, my friends, I hope you have an amazing week. Thank you for being here today celebrating two years, I am so excited for what will come and how I am evolving and contributing. And I just want to bring more meaning, more assistance, more connection into your life as well. If you have found value in this podcast, please share it with somebody and also leave a review, rate the podcast over on Apple or even on Facebook or Spotify. Now you can rate podcasts as well. It really helps me grow my audience and reach more people to help them in their entrepreneurial journey. All right, be well and I will see you next time.

Sari 29:06
The smartest thing you can do as an entrepreneur is to invest in a who to help you with the how, to speed up your journey and help you skip the line. When you are ready for more support and accountability to finally get this thing done, you can work with me in two ways. Get me all to yourself with one-on-one business coaching or join Food Business Success which includes membership inside Fuel, our community of food business founders that includes monthly live group coaching calls and so much more. It's one of my favorite places to hang out and I would love to see you there. Go to foodbizsuccess.com to start your journey towards your own Food Business Success.