Full Transcript

Sari 0:00
Welcome to your Food Business Success. This podcast is for early stage entrepreneurs in the packaged food industry ready to finally turn that delicious idea into reality. I'm your host, Sari Kimbell. I have guided hundreds of food brand founders to success as an industry expert and business coach, and it's got to be fun. In this podcast, I share with you mindset tools to become a true entrepreneur and run your business like a boss, interviews with industry experts to help you understand the business you are actually in, and food founder journey so you can learn what worked and didn't work and not feel so alone in your own journey. Now, let's jump in!

Welcome back to the podcast. Really happy you are here with me today. I hope you had an amazing Thanksgiving week that you were able to connect with friends and family and really sit in the gratitude of your life. And also, I hope you had amazing sales. If you were doing any kind of November sales, Holiday sales, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, we had people in Fuel sharing their wins. And people are having record breaking months. People are just going after big sales, and it's so fun to see. And I think that this podcast topic is actually really timely, because what I've noticed is that sometimes when people have really great wins, they have big successes, they also experience big setbacks. It's this case of, like, moving forward, having success, and then sometimes it feels like we're sabotaging it, or things are happening to us. In the 10x Mastermind that I run for food founders, after they've gone through Master Your Business, we were using the book The Big Leap this last month, and we had a coaching call around it and talked about these upper limit problems. And what I have seen in the six years of working with founders going after their business dreams, is that there's this success intolerance, there's this tendency to sabotage themselves even in the smallest ways, even when there's the smallest amount of success. And Gay Hendricks calls us the upper limit problem, and it's a fascinating study in human behavior, and that we have a certain intolerance for things going well for any amount of time. And I shared on the call that this was definitely my experience. This book in 2019 was really transformational for me, because I was doing it, I was having some modicums of success. There would be some wins, and then I would sabotage it. I would frankly, F it up. I would do things, say things over, drink, oversleep, procrastinate, not follow through. And it was like, what is happening? Why am I sabotaging my success? And this book helped me understand that I needed to expand my capacity, my tolerance for things going well. I often had the thought that when something well, good would happen, I would say to myself, okay, but when's the other shoe going to drop, right? Like I couldn't just stand the success and feeling good without kind of looking over my shoulder and saying, well, when's the bad going to happen? And that's just a terrible way to live, right? Because as an entrepreneur, we need a lot of things to go well. That's how we get success. And you if you look at any entrepreneur, they needed a stack. It's not just one good thing, it's a whole stack over a series of years that need to go well and go in your favor. And there was so much anxiety for me that when something would go well, that I would immediately brace and expect that something bad would happen. It almost made me not want to succeed, right, then I found myself procrastinating or not doing my best of, you know, not following through, and then I would wonder why bad things would happen. So hopefully the timing of this podcast is really good, because if you have a business, and you saw some big successes over this holiday season and hopefully more to come that you don't, then turn around and sabotage it, and it's a series of unconscious beliefs, and I'm going to talk about that in a minute of like, why we do this as humans? Because this is just what happens. And in fact, they study lottery winners, at least 60% of lottery winners after, I think it was two or three years, are back to where they started, if not worse, and they've actually, like, blown up their whole lives with divorces and fights and lawsuits and all these extra fun things, not really. And we just wonder, like, why does that happen? It's very common, and I saw this a lot at Whole Foods Market when I would help local brands get on the shelves. I've certainly seen it over my career working with brands, people will have some amount of success, and then there's something like a roadblock that comes up and and then they sabotage themselves, then the imposter syndrome comes up, and even if they don't stop completely, they slow way down, they end up like taking steps backwards, and then it feels like such a slog to keep going. And you know, we need a certain amount of progress and to keep up that motivation and get momentum. So today's podcast is all about, how do we increase our capacity and our tolerance for things going well, even when your business is going to be solving problems over and over again, and there's nothing wrong with having "problems". I say that word and people go negative, but I don't actually think having problems is a negative thing. It means you're a business. It means you're alive. It means that you areovercoming the old problems, and you have new problems to solve. Amazing, that's a good thing. Every business always has it, and it doesn't mean anything about you know, whether our business is succeeding or not, it's just like you just get to work and solve the problem.

And so Gay Hendricks, in the book The Big Leap, he talks about this internal thermostat that we often have a low set point on our tolerance for feeling good, for having success. And common ways that I see this come up for entrepreneurs is that we'll sabotage major opportunities right before they materialize. We will ignore an email, we'll put things off. We will not do our due diligence, right? Another way is that we'll start feeling overwhelmed when sales start increasing. All sudden, we have quote, unquote good problems, right? But we're like, I'm overwhelmed, and we'll do things that actually slow the sales down. I know you guys are like, what? I would never do that, but I promise you, I see it all the time. And you may be like, if you got really honest with yourself, you're like, yeah, I've done that before. You create unnecessary problems when everything is going well, maybe like things are going well in one area of your business, and then you stir up drama in your personal life or you stir up a different problem in your business, so that we have something, a new problem to go deal with, instead of focusing on what is going well in your business, and another way is that we downplay our achievements and successes, right? We get uncomfortable when multiple things start happening all at once, in a good way, in a positive way, right? And the more you have, this is the kind of paradox of being an entrepreneur, when you first start, you don't have a whole lot to lose. I mean, some of you do have to invest a lot more. I mean, I've seen businesses, you know, on a very low end, maybe a couple $1,000 to get started, and on a high end, like $150,000, $300,000 so yes, sometimes you do have a lot more to lose. But as we get started, you're like, well, you know, I don't have a product yet. I don't have a business yet. And then you get going, and at the beginning, you don't have a whole lot to lose, but when you start to have a $500,000 business, or a million dollar business, or $5 million, $10 million, $30 million business, you have a lot to lose, and the pressure can be a lot. And so sometimes we get really caught up in the fear of, what if it all goes away, and then we make ourselves small, and we stay stagnant, and we're not willing to make the next big leaps, because there's so much more to lose, and that can be a really big problem when I start to work with people in master your business, because they'vegotten to a certain level of success, they're having a certain amount of sales, and then for them to go to the next leap, right? Mastery Your Business is all about, how do we get you to 300k.

Then that starts to feel like there's a lot to lose, and that can feel really scary. So Gay Hendricks has four subconscious, unconscious beliefs that he points out in the book, that he feels like are the things that are underlying and why we hit this upper limit problem, why we sabotage our success. So the first one is this, like I'm fundamentally flawed, that there's something inherently wrong with me, and I am not enough. I am not worthy of success. And so we start out and we're like, we take these risks, we take the leaps, we get the business started. And then when things start going well, this is when our imposter syndrome really rears up. And we're like, oh, they just don't know me. Like, if they understood me, if they really knew me, then they would never buy my products, right? They would never support me. And this is one of mine. Hendricks would say that you might have a couple of these, but you probably won't have all four, but there'll be one or two that really resonate with you, so you can think through what yours is. But this has definitely been mine, where I will be something good will happen. I'll get a new client, or new sign ups for Food Business Success or Master Your Business, and then I'll be like, inside like, oh God, if they really knew me, then they would regret this decision, and then I'll start doing things that'll sabotage it, right? And that's just ridiculous, like I've been doing this for six years. I do know what I'm talking about, and I have also employed all of the tools that Hendricks recommends in the book and more through life coaching. But this one really stopped me when I was first getting started. It was just a constant, like, right? Because I would get a new contract, I would get a new client, and then I would be so overcome with, like, they don't really know me, they would hate me. They shouldn't have even signed up with me. I'm a total imposter, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? The second one is a loyalty barrier, so we are worried about breaking family patterns around money and success. And if you are a first generation entrepreneur, this often happens, and I am, as well, first generation entrepreneur. I guess I shouldn't say that. My dad did try his hand at entrepreneurship. But even if you're maybe not a first generation, there's not a very many of you in your family or your friends circle, you kind of start to feel like a weird outsider, right? People just don't get you. And sometimes that's enough for us to, like, walk away from the business, or to not make it as successful as it could be. That we are worried about what people are going to think about us. We're worried about letting people down, and we're worried about what will people think about us, right? Like, how will they judge us if we're making a lot of money, if we have a lot of free time, right? Like, the way I can spend my time as an entrepreneur now that I am have a certain amount of success and time freedom. My family thinks I'm a little bit nuts sometimes, you know, I am going on a two and a half month trip to Costa Rica, and I don't really have a lot of plans, and they're just like, what are you doing? This is weird, right? And I have to be willing to kind of be on the outside a little bit, and that can be really hard for some people. And so I do find that sometimes the pressure from friends and family to stay small and to, you know, not break free from that and really become an entrepreneur, is a real thing.

The next one is the excellence trap that we get into this idea that we have to be perfect, right, that everything has to be 100% and we have to do everything correctly, and we spend a lot of time in analysis paralysis, and we really get into perfectionist mode. I would actually have to say this also was one of mine, and that my perfectionism really reared up its ugly head when I became an entrepreneur, because I was so worried about what other people would say that everything had to be "perfect", and it really slowed you down. And I see this where people are unwilling to launch, and I finally, like, there's a couple people in Fuel that I'm like, listen, you are ready, you are launching on this date. So let's go, right? No more dilly dally, no more questioning this or that. Like you have enough, we got to go. Let's do this. And I know they appreciate that so much, because when we're an entrepreneur, there's nobody, there's no boss. We are the boss, right? There's nobody else saying it's got to ship, here's your deadline, and we're constantly moving the finish line out because it's not "perfect". So you guys know my rule about 80% or B minus work, that's good enough. It's got to go as Seth Godin says it's got to ship, right? So we got to get it out there. We got to test it. We just got to get feedback. And this can be a real problem, both in launching, but then once you're launched, like doing the next big things that are going to help you make that big leap, we can often get caught in that perfectionist excellence trap.

And then lastly, it's the concept of, like, an identity ceiling, that we have this identity that we are a home cook, right? That we are a home baker, or, you know, whatever, a sauce maker, and we need to be able to take that into the next iteration of ourselves. It's an identity that we become an entrepreneur, that we become a CEO, that we get to learn all the pieces of our business, not just how to make the most amazing sauce or the most amazing cookies, right? We have to go from the product maker, to the manager, to the CEO, to the person running the business. And that is a big obstacle that I see in people, that they get really stuck. They want to stay small. And this isn't about everybody needs to be like the big brand on shelves and exit for millions of dollars. Listen, you get to decide what your beautiful business looks like and what your goals are. But whatever those goals are, are you keeping them small so that you don't have to change, that you don't have to become somebody new, so you don't have to learn new skills, and it's also okay that your goals will change and iterate, right? But whatever your goal is, sometimes we keep ourselves really small because it's hard, it's scary to change our identities. It's an identity crisis, right? And so these are the four ways that we often like the subconscious beliefs that we have that come up. And if you're wondering, like, it feels like I just sabotage myself, it feels like I'm doing this to myself. Well, here you go. This is why, right? And it makes a lot of sense. And now that I've worked with hundreds and hundreds of brand founders and myself, I see it. I totally get it why this happens, and it's 100% true. So it's got to be so much more than just about your product, right? It's like moving into the new identity, getting over your perfectionism, being willing to step outside of your comfort zone and your circle and break free of those patterns from your past, and then knowing that you do deserve success, believing it, not just knowing it, but believing it in your body, that you are worthy, and you're worthy of financial success. Okay, so how do you actually break through this? What are some practical techniques, strategies that you can use? So this kind of comes from my own work, but also some of the things in the book, I highly recommend the exercise that comes from The Gap In The Gain, it's the gain exercise, where every night, you are writing down three wins for the day, and then you're also writing down three wins that will happen the next day. When I have done this, it has like gotten me onto such a success path, you know, where I'm just like waking up knowing I'm going to have success that day, knowing that I'm finding successes, I'm redirecting my mind to having success. And so I love that exercise. Another way you could do that is just like a Daily Success journal, where you are really writing down like the good things, little and big, but we are training our brain to look for the good, because our reticular activating system, or RAs, is pre programmed to find the negative. That's just the way that it works as a human and so we have to purposely override that software system, right? We have to reprogram it to look for the good. We can also notice where the upper limit behaviors come in. And it's not just around money. It can be around love. It could be around attention. Where do you deflect? Where do you start worrying, right? Worry pretends to be necessary, and it never is. Either worry and go and do something about it, if that's possible, or drop it. Worry is a complete waste of time and energy and resources, and you would be so much better focusing on things that are actually in your control and get out of worry, right? Worry and anxiety. Where are you deflecting and then maybe, where are you getting sick or hurting yourself? This has come up for me sometimes where I will hurt myself, seemingly, like, accidentally, but then I look back and I'm like, huh, yeah, I maybe was trying to get out of doing something like, oh, I can't do that reel or that call or that thing, because I'm in a lot of pain. The second thing you can do is have an ultimate success mantra, and this comes from the big leap. And the success mantra goes like this, I expand in abundance success and love every day, and I inspire those around me to do the same. And he would recommend that you speak it, you meditate on it, you put sticky notes and note cards where you can find them in your car and around your desk and in your wallet, wherever, and that you are constantly like, reminding yourself that you are expanding, that you can tolerate success, you can tolerate abundance, you can tolerate love, and you're focusing on that rather than the usual negative tapes that are running in your mind. So we're refocusing, and you're really making that an intentional daily practice. And the last way where you can really break through your upper limit problem and stop sabotaging your success, is to very purposefully expand your success container. I want you to be intentional every day or at least once a week, of like, how do you sit in feeling good? How do you get uncomfortable with the things that you actually want to create, like comfort and to create a more normal feeling around that? So one thing I did was I held up a bunch of money, like this, and I said, I want you to hold money. I want you to just practice having money, celebrating it. When money comes in, every dime, every penny, I'm like, right? I'll get little amounts that come in. Maybe somebody will buy a book for, you know, 99 cents. So it's a digital download, I'll be like, yay, right? How do we actually sit and tolerate having money? I know that this sounds foreign, that you'd be like, what are you talking about? I want more money, but just notice what happens when you actually get money? Do you think that it's amazing and you celebrate every dime, or do you say to yourself something like, well, that's cool, but it's really not enough. Or how am I supposed to create a business if that's all that's coming in, right? We start to downplay it, and we start to think that it's not enough and money doesn't want to hang around you that way.

Another way you can do this, and we did this on our call, is we made a list of at least 10 things that have gone well, and they can be small or big things, right? Kind of similar to, like a gratitude list, like things that are successes, things that are wins over the last month or two, right? And hopefully you can find at least 10 things. So you sit and you write down, this should only take a couple of minutes. And then I want you to set a stopwatch on your phone, and I want you to look at the list and kind of internalize it. And then I want you to just close your eyes and sit there in the positivity, in the gratitude, in the good feelings, and I want you to see how long you can tolerate it, before you get worry thoughts that come in, before you get anxiety, before you start minimizing it and saying like, well, yeah, I mean, that was good, but, our brain loves to offer us negative thoughts, and the more you think negative thoughts, the more negative thoughts come up. And just notice when a thought comes in. We're not going to beat ourselves up about it, but notice where you are on your timer. We did this in our group, and somebody said I lasted 17 seconds. It can be hard, right? If we are conditioned to go into worry mode, we're like, okay, that was good. That was good. Oh, but I there's all these problems that come up with it. I gotta work on that. Or what about this? Right? We start worrying and anxiousness and so just notice, like, how long can I tolerate feeling good? Because here's the piece as a life coach, that I know, when we are feeling good, we are more likely to take good actions, right? We have good thoughts. We have thoughts that increase our positivity, increase our motivation, we get a little dopamine hit. We're feeling good, and when we're feeling good, we're going to go take some action. We're going to get into action that actually moves us forward, and the action is going to be so much more aligned and feel so much better. Maybe we go write an email or record a reel or do some recipe development or work on our packaging. We're going to take some action that moves us forward, and then we're going to get better results versus think about if you're just focused on negative and worry. What kind of action is that inspiring? If it's inspiring, any action at all, which it probably isn't. You just like to spend time and worry and anxiety instead of actually going and doing something, and the action that you do take out of worryings and anxiety is going to come across that way. It's not going to have the same impact. So I like to spend time every day getting into moments where I can just sit in the good and I like to see how long I can go? Can I go two minutes? Can I go 10 minutes before a worry thought creeps in? Can I go an hour? Half a day? A day? This is your challenge. Just see, just start noticing, oh, I'm penned into worry thoughts. Let me come back. Now worry thoughts can be good as long as we take action from it. We go, oh, that's telling me I need to do this thing. Okay, write that down and then get out of the worry thought. And I'm not saying to spend time where you're just focused on daisies and rainbows, but it doesn't serve us to just sit in the negative. And so this is about you expanding your success container, building your success muscle. I was telling a client about this, and she was just like, my mind is blown. I never thought about how I have such an intolerance for feeling good, because every time I would talk to her, she's also a friend, I would talk to her, like, on the on a Sunday, on a weekend, and she would be creating all this additional stress if she had had, like, a relaxing weekend, and she was, like, real, like, it was like, too much for her to have a relaxing, leisurely, easy weekend, and then she would create all this drama for herself on Sunday. It was so fascinating. And so we she's now practicing this like, how do I just sit in feeling good every day? And the last thing I would offer is that get a group, get accountability, get community, just like we do inside Fuel, and in the Master Your Business program, and in the 10x Mastermind, we have a celebrate wins channel. And just this well when I'm recording it the week of Thanksgiving, I asked our mastermind. I was like, let's start the week out with some big successes, like, what is going well for you? And it was so fun because people were like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And it was just like, wow, this is good, right? People are getting excited for each other. They're starting to feel this positivity, this good feeling, and success is all around them. And I want to invite you to come into Food Business Success, if you're just launching your business idea, if you're like 2025 is the year I'm going to launch my business. Food Business Success is for you. If you already have a business and you want to go on a next big leap, go to 300k and you want support. You want community. You want the learnings and the foundations to overcome that identity crisis and become a CEO that I want to invite you to come and join us in Master Your Business. I'll put the links in the show notes for both of those programs and this year, make this the year where you are going to tolerate feeling good for longer periods of time, because that is how you ultimately get the success that you want as a business. Until next time, have an amazing week!