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Ep #7 Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

Ep #28 The Gap

 

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Sari 0:04
I'm Sari Kimbell and I've done just about everything in the food industry. I have helped hundreds of packaged food business entrepreneurs and now I want to help you make your delicious dream a reality. Whether you want to be successful at farmer's markets, online, or wholesale on the store shelves, Food Business Success is your secret ingredient. I will show you how to avoid an expensive hobby, and instead run a profitable food business. Now let's jump.

Hey there everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. Today's episode is gonna be fun, we're gonna have fun with feelings. Love talking about this topic. And I've been doing a little bit of a deep dive into feelings and my own personal development work. And it's just so fascinating. And there's so much to know and understand and become aware of, and using our feelings to get the results that we want. So I want to talk to you all about some of the things I've been learning and share with you these insights. And I think if you pay attention, and you're like, this really resonates with me, I think you're gonna get so much out of this. And this could really change everything for you in your business and you getting the results you want. Before I jump into this topic, more, we have had over 8000 downloads of this podcast, which is amazing. And I do have an ask for you, I need more reviews. So I'm going to make a request of you to please go over use your phone to do it, it's the easiest way to do it. And leave a five star review. And leave a note for me, I love to do shout outs on the podcast. And I wish she gave me her full name and her business because I definitely give her a shout out. But I wanted to say hi to Jill. And she says Sari is such a great resource when it comes to success in the food business. I love the way she delivers exactly what we need in a way that makes sense. And doesn't keep me frozen, not knowing what to do next. So thank you so much Joe for the great review, and leaving that kind note on there. So I'm going to ask everybody out there to just take literally one minute and go rate and review on Apple iTunes. Or you can go to the Food Business Success Facebook page and leave a review there. And I would love to give you a shout out on a future podcast.

So if you think about feelings, what are they? Why do they matter? I know some people you might be thinking to yourself, Why is she talking about feelings? This seems so fluffy, right? Like, I'm just here to start a business? Come on. Think about it for a second. If I asked you why you're starting a packaged food business, why you want this business? Eventually, if we keep asking ourselves why enough, we're going to get down to your feelings that it's going to give you a certain feeling. So feelings actually drive everything we do. And don't do frankly, they are the motivator in our life. And if you don't believe me, think about marriage. Think about getting married or having kids, or going to college, or doing any anything in your life. Right? If you're going to start if you're here, it's because you're starting a food business. Keep asking yourself, why? Why are you doing that? Why did you want to have kids? Well, because I want to have more humans that look like me. Like, eventually you're going to get down to because I'm going to feel a certain way I want to feel love for another person in a whole new way. And the same is true for your business. Why are you going to I mean, this is not an easy path, right? Like we've talked a lot about starting a business is not easy.

Everything doesn't just flow. You're not just like, I'm gonna start a business. Oh, snap my fingers. I have an amazing successful packaged food business. But if you really think about it, keep asking yourself, why, why why and eventually you're going to get to a feeling. I will feel proud of myself. I will feel successful, I will feel happy. And the other thing I want to just note about feelings, which is super interesting. I hadn't really thought about it this way until recently. But you know how we always are talking about how important it is to be present in our life. Right like not be in the future, not be in the past, just be present. And really enjoy the moment. The thing is, is that feelings can only be felt in the present. They are simply a vibration in our body that live in different places in our body. It can make us tense up, we can feel kind of euphoric, relaxed. So there's lots of ways that feelings manifest in our body, but they are simply that a vibration in our body that is happening to us completely in the moment in the present tense. And we can think about like, well, but I have all these past feelings, something that happened, good or bad. Now let's just take, we'll take a great one, right? Like, let's take your, your kids, when, if you have kids, when you were having the child in the hospital and the child was born, if you're thinking about that moment, right now, you're not having feelings about past feeling like you're not experiencing feelings in the past. you're experiencing feelings right now, in this moment, thinking it's about your thoughts, thinking about that past experience when your child was born. So we can't actually experience feelings in the past, and we can't experience them in the future. We can't say, Well, when I have a business, that I'm paying myself a salary, like we're not, we can't feel those feelings in the future, we can feel them right now. Proud, successful. Excited, right. But there are no future feelings. So that's really interesting to note.

And the reason why I bring this up is because ultimately, we're going to talk about how we can use utilize your feelings to create the results you want. But if you know that your feelings are only in the present, your brain is always searching, it always has a desire to feel as good as possible right now. Our bodies and our brains do not always serve us in the best way possible. Because ultimately, it's not going to want it doesn't want to trade off a good feeling right now, for a potential good feeling in the future. Right? So, you starting a business, you're like, Hey, I'm gonna tell you brain like it's gonna feel amazing when we get there. And your brains like, Ah, no. I'm not sure I would rather take the reasonably good feeling now. And I'm going to create that potentially with using outside substances or, or circumstances, right, I'm going to that's why we, you know, we start a diet and we're so excited or a workout plan, and we're gonna, like, I'm gonna get in shape, and I'm gonna lose weight, or I'm gonna be this strong. And that's all in the future and your brains like, I don't really, I'm not sure I would rather feel good right now, if we could just eat cookies, and watch Netflix, and drink some wine. Right now, that was what would make me feel good now. And so we can see that we have to manage our brain, we have to manage our feelings and our thoughts in order to get different results because your brain, sorry, but it is just hardwired, Primal brain that is just looking to feel good right now. Okay, so

if you are on board, that your feelings are important, and that they are really good to be aware of and to understand. I mean, what is the feeling that you most want? The feeling most people say that they want is to be happy, right? I just want to be happy. How many times have you heard yourself say that to somebody else? You're thinking that somebody else tells you that right? We kind of use this like blanket emotion of happy to say like, I've really begun to question that, like, what does that even mean? was happy mean? I mean, I know what it means in the moment when I'm like, Oh, I'm happy right now. But honestly, of all the feelings in the world to choose from, I don't know that happy is the most exciting one. In any case, The reality is we can't have happiness without a contrast. So I want to introduce you to a concept. That's called the 5050. Your life is 50% positive emotion and 50% negative emotion. We can't have it any other way.

Because in order for us to feel happy, we have to have the contrast of the negative emotion. If we just sat around and happiness all day, we actually wouldn't even know that we're unhappy. Or that we are happy. Card said that a little strange. It's kind of like a fish in water. I don't know if you've ever heard this example. I thought it was really a good one. And with this, like, does a fish know it's in water? Ask a fish to describe what water is like? Like? I don't know. It only can describe it Really? Probably, if we could get into a fish brain in the absence of water. And then in that case, it's flopping around. That is the same with us. If we just sat around and happiness all day, blissed out, we wouldn't even know we were happy. And what's the point of that? So I want to propose just I'll just lay some groundwork, I'll definitely circle back to this. But your life is 5050. And that's okay. It's supposed to be that way. We want to have negative emotions. We don't want to sit around, do you want to be happy when someone you love dies? No. You want to be happy about bad things happening in the world? No. But there are times when we do want to choose happiness when you do want to choose peace. And there are times when we want to choose excitement and anticipation. And there are going to be times that negative emotion is going to serve us really, really well. And I think it's so interesting, if you come up with Why are you doing this business and you come to the emotion, happy, I really encourage you to even write this out, like why do I want to start this business and just keep drilling down? Why? Why why.

And if the emotion that you want to get is that I want to be happy, then really all you are doing is you are in the pursuit of happiness, and that happiness is always going to elude you. The Pursuit will not get you where you want to go. And in fact, achieving going after a big goal does not feel happy. Most of the time. I can speak from my own experience. And from working with hundreds of packaged food, business entrepreneurs, they are not usually happy. There's some moments of ecstatic notice and joy, and some moments of happiness and success and pride. But there are a lot of rough times and on happiness, negative emotion. And so when you even get there, if all you're doing is like I just want to feel happy when I get there. Even if you get there, what I see you do, and I will include myself in this is we write it off as a fluke, like, Oh, I finally got to that place in my business. Yeah, some that was just a fluke. That was just like I just was in the right place at the right time. Or we very quickly get there. And we're like, Okay, cool. And then we move on to the next thing. And you don't even stop to celebrate it right? We don't even take a minute to be happy. Now, again, it's understandable your brain is not wired to just sit in happiness. In fact, we are negatively wired, we are negative, we have a negative bias in our brain that is looking for the negativity. So even when you accomplish that big goal that you set out for yourself, whatever you got to define, you know, what is success for you in your business? And I go back and listen, there's some great podcasts about setting those big goals and having smaller goals inside of that. But let's just say you accomplish a big goal for yourself. Your brain is going to look for the negative it just is unless you train it differently. You have to do this on purpose. have to say well, let's stop a minute. I actually have some clients but we use an app called boxer Vo x ER and because their brains are so wired for the negative And all as all of ours are, but some of us more than others, I think I actually make them text me or they can leave like, it's like a walkie talkie app, that they need to send me a walkie talkie message of something good, positive in their day, every day a win a small win.

Or every week, right. And so we have to start training our brain. So go back and listen to the episode about celebrating your small wins. It's so important. Okay, so we're back to negative and positive 5050 are part of the package of being human. And you can argue with me, if you're like 8020, or whatever, it doesn't really matter at this point. But let's just decide that there are negative feelings and there are positive feelings, and they are both a part of being human. I like to think about my emotions as tools in my toolbox. They are going to drive an action, they're going to drive or inaction, sometimes it's inaction, but they are going to help me get results. What are the results I want to create in my life? And so if you think about your emotions as tools to help you get there, emotions, create something, be thought about it that way. Have you ever thought about how your emotions help you move things forward, they help us take action and to build something to create something. And so there are useful emotions, and there are non useful emotions.

And what's useful to one person on one day might not be useful to a different person on a different day. And we're all raised with you know, varying backstories and some drama around emotions, right. And so certain emotions may not work for other people, as a driver a positive results. But I will tell you that all emotions, negative or positive are driving something, they are creating something or they are creating inaction. So I want you to think about, let's just name off some positive emotions, okay. There's motions like excited, fun, curious, happy, peaceful, bliss, right? These are some emotions that I know you guys want to feel in your business confident. So if we take those emotions, and if we put those, so I use a tool called the model, and I'll definitely do an episode about this. But our feeling line or emotion are what drives our action. So if you put curious in the feeling line, what action is going to come out of being curious, you're going to ask questions you're going to explore, you're going to be open, you're going to actually take some action to get some answers, right? If you put happy in the feeling line, I'm so curious what emotion or what action that creates for you, it honestly might not create that much action, it might be like, I just want to sit around and be happy. I'm gonna just kind of sit back and enjoy this for a little bit. And that's okay, there's nothing wrong with that. But it has to line up with the results you want to create. I feel like when I learned this, my brain broke a little bit. So I don't know if you're feeling that way as well. Like, my brain is breaking what is happening right now, here's where I'm making a proposition to you, I'm trying to convince you to embrace negative emotion. And not that there are two different kinds of negative emotion there are useful ones and there are non useful ones. And I want to say that the non useful ones are the ones that get you nowhere that spin you out there ones like confusion, doubt, overwhelm anxiety. And I know as they are very familiar to me, and I know they are very familiar to you. Welcome to starting a business. your brains like a No thank you. That sounds really hard. I'm just going to get really confused. I'm going to do a little research and get really confused and spin myself into non action so that we don't have to feel anything else uncomfortable. Sound sounds familiar. I'm guessing it does for many of you, because you tell me. So those are what we call indulgent emotions. Those gets you nowhere, my friend. If you are sitting in doubt, overwhelm, confusion, anxiety, those emotions are not serving you in any way to get the result of whatever your big goal is, they are serving you to do nothing to keep you safe inside the cave, right as our brain wants to do.

So I want to say those are not useful. But let's talk about some negative emotions that maybe are useful to you determined, how does that feel in your body, he doesn't feel like bliss, I will tell you that much, that's for sure. determined it feels like grounded and strong. But it's got a little bit of a negative edge to it. Like things are gonna get hard. And I'm not giving up no matter what focused, willing, committed. That's one of my favorites. I use that one a lot to help motivate me. And in fact, I'll just tell you fun little fact story here that I actually recorded this podcast last week, and then I am editing it on a Sunday and it's rainy. And all I want to do is watch Netflix, and eat cheese. That would be nice, but I'm not. And I, every day I wrote down, I write down. Every day I write down five things that I want to get done that day. And I use the feeling committed to do those five things no matter what I use my prefrontal cortex to make decisions when I'm clear. And I know what I want to achieve out in the in the future. And I make decisions ahead of time. So this morning, I said, I will edit this podcast and get it ready to go. And you can guess what happened at 3:30pm on Sunday, I do not want to edit this podcast. But I use the feeling of committed to help me push past my primal brain that wants to just sit here and watch Netflix, right. So that is a great example of using a negative emotion when that doesn't feel great to create positive action and results that I want. Now my podcast will be done. And it'll be awesome. And I don't have to think anymore about it. Because it will just be uploaded and makes my week so much easier. So you guys can see how using some of these emotions that have a little more grit to them a little harder edge. Over on that that negative side of the 5050 can really serve you very well. Courage courage does not feel good my friends. I don't know who made me told you courage would feel good when I asked people to make a commitment to join Food Business Success to commit and go all in so that they can really do their business and have fun doing it. fear comes up of course it does. And then courage is the next piece the next feeling that we need to create to take action. But he doesn't feel like skipping through daisies unicorn right? There's no fun in courage. In fact courage is only comes up in the face of fear and negative emotion. discomfort. So I've said on this podcast before discomfort is the currency to your dreams. Are you willing to feel discomfort knowing it will be part of the process to get you to the result you want to be at this business what you are trying to do anytime you set a big goal for yourself. I mean in this case, we're talking about your food business but it doesn't matter. Set a goal for yourself to run a marathon set a goal for yourself to lose weight set a goal for yourself to find a partner. any big goals are going to require discomfort. Are you willing? Is that an emotion that you are willing? Are you willing to be willing? I think that's a great one to start from that one has actually really served me well. So many of you are waiting around to feel inspired to work on your business. No, no we have to stop waiting for inspiration. We will be waiting forever. That Inspiration never comes. Or it comes in very sporadic flashes, that we get all sorts of energy behind it. And we do a bunch of research. And we listen to a bunch of podcasts like this or my YouTube channel, we get all sorts of information. And then what happens you quickly spin out and confusion, doubt and overwhelm. Right?

I'm sure you can, I know you can relate to that. Or one of my favorites, procrastination, right? We find all sorts of other things we could be doing, we think we maybe should be doing things come up, right? And so months go by, and then we're like, oh, wait, I haven't actually gotten anywhere in my business. So what if we stopped waiting around for inspiration? And instead said, Yes, I am willing to feel negative emotion. I am willing to feel discomfort on purpose, I am going to go into this knowing I'm going to feel uncomfortable. And that's okay. A negative feeling a negative emotion in my body is just a vibration in my body. And here's the good news is it will pass. Right? It doesn't last forever. Think about how doubt feels in your body. It kind of feels heavy to me in my chest. It can feel a little constricting in my throat. It's just a vibration in our body. Okay, so you experience some doubt? that's uncomfortable. All right. Yep, of course, of course, you're feeling doubt, you're doing something you've never done before. You have no idea whether you will be successful or not. And then this one who has one's a good one, disappointment, failure, these two come up a lot when we start to consider starting a business. And I want to throw something at you that really again, kind of flipped it on its head and was like, what my brain is breaking. If we do nothing, and we don't take action on our dream, and because we are so afraid of feeling disappointment, I want to offer you that all you're doing is feeling disappointment ahead of time. Does that make sense? The by not going after your dream, you're actually just creating the exact feeling you're so afraid of ahead of time, because failure could happen. If you start a business, you decide to fail ahead of time and never try. So can you choose an emotion that you're willing to feel ahead of time? courage, you're gonna say I am willing to feel courage. How does that feel in your body? Right? It's a whole different. It's a whole different feeling to me then doubt or confusion or overwhelm, courage says I'm scared. This is unknown. I don't know what's going to happen. I'm uncertain.

And I'm going to make the leap Anyway, I'm going to have my own back and then a go all in. I'm going to get the resources and tools and expertise necessary to help me do this faster. And help me create more confidence in myself. That's what I want to offer. That is what I offer inside Food Business Success. But first, you have to be willing to feel courage. And even if you don't join Food, Business Success, it's fine. If you're going to start your business, it's going to require courage. So are you willing to feel courage? Are you willing to be to feel determination and not give up no matter what. Achieving any big goal requires massive, consistent action to prepare ahead of time, when we don't prepare, that's when we give up and we start and we stop and we start and we stop. And we keep getting these fits of inspiration, right? The move is a tiny, tiny little bit and then we probably go backwards. Instead I want to offer that you are driving the ship you are choosing if you want to achieve a big goal, you are writing it down and you are saying what is this going to require this is going to require consistency. This is going to require action. This is going to require put myself out there in new ways. It's going to require that I'm rejected that I feel judged. There's some pretty negative emotions that happen as you create a big business. You have your amazing delicious product. And you're going from that to now I'm going to put it out to the world and people are going to buy it From me or not right, that is ultimately rejection. If somebody doesn't buy it from you, you will be judged, just because we're human. And that's what we do. And so if you put yourself out there, you will be judged. Are you willing to feel that? prepare ahead of time.

And the way we do that is by understanding that our feelings create our actions. And so we're going to choose our feelings very carefully to get the results we want. If you know that rejection is possible, that judgment is possible. What is the feeling that you need to create in your body? It's not peaceful. That's definitely not. It's not happy. Right? It's commitment. It's courage. It's grit and determination. Those are the negative emotions that we need to allow and use. They are useful emotions to help us take action. So I have I sold you on negative emotion. At the very least, could you say at the end of this episode, I am willing to feel uncomfortable to feel that discomfort. Maybe we don't need to go yet to full on judgment and rejection. And oh, the big F the failure, right? Maybe we don't need to go there right yet. But are you willing? For me, it's been really interesting. I wrote down, I did an exercise about like, what's the worst that could happen? Is this such a good exercise, because it will bring up big, big fears, right, lots of big emotion. And for me, the worst thing that could happen is a big capital F failure. And for me, that would just be me doing something to myself, it would be like I would affect other people around me. Right? That my failure, my failure to be successful, my failure of decision or indecision, making the right decision would affect somebody else. And I would lose everything. And everybody would hate me. That is definitely what the worst that can happen. And I would hate myself, right, like, but I can't control what other people think or don't think about me. In any case, that is my big fear. And my the worst that could happen. And I want you to think about what is the worst that could happen for you, when you start your business? And then say, Are you willing to do it anyway? And my answer is, yes. I am willing to put myself out there and to keep taking risks, and to keep taking action, massive, consistent action. Even when it falls short of perfection. I'm doing b minus work, and getting my work and my message out into the world. I'm making an impact. I'm helping you start a packaged food business to go after your dream. I can't not do this. And so I am willing to fail. The big F fail, I am willing to do it. And I'm willing to feel all the emotions that come up as a result of that worst worst case scenario, right? So if you do that exercise, and you're like, yes, I'm willing to do it anyway, then congratulations, my friend. You're joining me in the negative emotion club. We are going to use some of that negative emotion to fuel your action and help you cross the gap. If you think about it, so I have that episode about the gap. Right? And we think about where you are right now. And then there's where you want to be your big goal and your business. And let's think of it like like we're going on a hike. Okay, and for some of you that might be like hiking the Pacific Coast Trail, Evers Oh, it might be like, I'm taking it out. Let's Let's push ourselves a little we're gonna take a three mile little hike. That's me.

And in case, there's where we are now. And there's where we want to be right, the end of that hike. And then there's all the stuff in the middle. And that's all the discomfort. And so we're going to choose we're going to know that yes, we are going to feel uncomfortable to get to that place. And we're going to prepare as much ahead of time and we're going to work on our emotions to say You know, if I'm going to go on that hike, happy and comfort are not going to serve me very well. Because if that's the feeling that I want to feel, I probably won't ever go on the hike in the first place, right? So I'm actually going to choose determination, I'm going to choose focused, I'm going to choose committed, I'm going to choose courage ahead of time, knowing that when things come up, which they will, and there will be moments of uncomfort of discomfort that I have prepared ahead for them mentally. And Heck, we might as well prepare for them physically to write, let's prepare for the fact that we might have blisters and bring the right socks and some band aids. And let's prepare that we're going to get thirsty and bring all the right food right, let's prepare ahead of time with both our feelings and our commitment and the tools in our toolbox, right? To bring this metaphor all the way around. Food Business Success is that tool in your toolbox that will make your life so much more fun and so much easier on this journey of starting a business. But we cannot escape the emotions. No tool is going to help us escape the discomfort that we're going to have to go through to do hard things and achieve a big goal. I would be honored to help you in your journey. And look at that I did it. I finished editing the podcast didn't even take that long. I use my commitment to drive action. And now I get to go back to watching my new show that I found on Netflix, and just enjoy it and be really proud of myself and feel successful today. So I'm going to celebrate this small win, go out there and embrace negative emotion. And until next time, have an amazing week.

Are you ready to start that delicious idea that you make in your home kitchen or grow your existing packaged food business and take it to the next level? The most successful food business entrepreneurs have support, guidance, focus and accountability to help them make it happen quickly without wasting time or money. Plus, I think starting your packaged food business should actually be fun. Food Business Success is your secret ingredient to creating your food business dream. Please don't go this alone. Check out the private free Food Business Success Facebook group to connect with other foodprenuers, get your questions answered quickly, share your wins and receive special training and tools I only share inside the private community. Just search for Food Business Success on Facebook, or get the link in the show notes. Curious about how Food Business Success can help you? Head over to FoodBizSuccess.com and fill out the application to see if you're a great fit for the program. Together let's make your food business dream a reality.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

 

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